Juz-4-Babez

No Way!

2010-03-23T20:36:00.002+08:00

Wow, its been some time since I wrote. And the girls are really growing up fast. I feel like the days are just whizzing past me and can't even seem to catch hold of where the days have gone. Sometimes I wish that I could just make time stop for a moment to truly enjoy what is going on. Work really does not help with so much to do, time seems to just whizz past even faster.

I took some books on making jewellery from the library a few days back and gaze in envy at the beautiful creations. The interest is there and I know I can make them but I really do not have the time. It is only recently that I manage to restart my love to read... even then its after telling the girls to give me a few minutes either before or after I read to them at bedtime.

Daniah is really growing up so fast... favourite phase now? Oh Man! and No way! all from Dora Baby Gaga, her favourite show... funny thing is she still looks very much like a baby to us... to think that Sarah and Tasnym were big sisters at her age. She still looks too small and too much of a baby to ever be more than the small sister.

But don't undermine her, small she may be but she has a fiery personality... like the saying kecil kecil cili padi! This chilli padi is not afraid to assert her rights and pull her small weight around. Also a true parrot, who absorbs everything Tasnym does and then copy! Both are partners in crime but when they fight... oh man!

Phone Parenting?

2010-01-26T19:09:00.003+08:00

I guess as any working parent, I am guilty of phone parenting... when you call your kids from work to check on them, make sure they are doing what you want them to do and even scold! How effective is this really? I mean how much would the child actually do what we asked knowing that we are some distance away and not in the vicinity to catch them not doing what we want...

With Sarah in Primary 1, I am calling to ask her to do some pieces of work, check whether she is ready for school etc etc... and already she has lost 4 different items in school, from her wallet to her colour pencils to her water bottle.... the list goes on! She is so careless!

As it is, I am also having one or the other calling me to complain abt each other! And they even quarrel on the phone, each one shouting at the other over 2 telephones! sigh... Funny thing is that even Daniah is doing this complaining abt some fictional things that Sarah had done to her! Whenever she wants something, she will just say "Sarah take mine!" That one is becoming a complete Tasnym clone!

Primary One!

2010-01-05T09:47:00.006+08:00

And its official! My first baby is in Primary 1. What a trooper as she walks up the bus and into the school without worry... except for the mummy shedding a tear by the side!

And off she goes in the bus with us following in the car behind... yeah fine we have joined the realms of kiasu parents.... but better than being accused of being neglectful right?

Off the bus and into the school... I am not the only parent taking photos and videos ok!

And to the canteen with her Primary 2 buddy... I was surprised to see how the canteen was condoned off to parents and the parents having to see their kids from afar... better than completely being barred entry into the school I guess... I can fully understand why too, what with the parents and grandparents hogging tables, the kids won't even have a place to sit!! Sarah could not even be bothered with her parents, preferring to sit and eat, only coming over when we kept asking her too... the Primary 2 buddy was all vigilant, running after Sarah and getting her to go back to their tables quickly!

Gone are the days when our mums used to peep from the classroom windows and were on hand at every recess! My mum was all anxious asking me why I was not staying in school with Sarah... not that Sarah even needed it!

Funny thing was that Tasnym was the one who missed Sarah the most, calling me multiple times to ask when Sarah was coming home! And what a joyous moment it was when both younger sisters went down to pick Sarah from the school bus! ha ha! Hopefully, this would make Tasnym stop fighting with Sarah so much! As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder....

A new year.... 2010

2010-01-01T09:58:00.003+08:00

Ok... I have been lazy and have not been blogging but I am just superbly whacked out... And actually... also a bit lazy lah!

Oh my gosh, all this for me??

The look of joy having a full bowl of ice cream placed in front of her- simply priceless!

New year and new beginnings... and Daniah just turned 2... on 27 Dec... we went to the zoo in the morning and to Swensens... the look of delight on her face as the firehouse ice cream was placed in front of her, it was like "Am I dreaming? A whole ice cream for me?"... that was simply priceless!

I don't have new year resolutions... don't see any meaning to it.. why must I wait for a new year to have a resolution?

But I am freaking out over Sarah going into Primary 1 though she is pretty calm and nonchalant about it... Would she know where to go after the bus drops her off? Would the teachers be there to receive her? Would she make friends? Would anyone not be nice? Sigh... and how is she gonna cope with the bag? It is so heavy!

Tasnym has been prepared that she is going to Hanis on her own but I doubt it has truly sunk in... esp when she realises come 4 Jan that Aryan is not gonna be there too as he has been transferred to a child care centre.

And Daniah? I think I will wait for her to be a bit older before I send her to Hanis too...

Dead exhausted

2009-11-30T08:22:00.004+08:00

She was so dead exhausted from all the shopping that she fell asleep slumped over the side sofa! The amazing amount of things to buy, this is truly a shopping paradise.... and at such super cheap prices too! I can see where Mini Toons got some of their stuff....

The stuff here are so cheap! And seems like, people are really into bling with shops at MBK sticking on gems unto phone and NDS covers making it bling bling! Some are a bit the ohbiang la but some pretty nice ones. Check out some that we bought! Cool huh?

Sawadeeka!

2009-11-26T15:41:00.003+08:00

This is what my home should look like.... either that or I should make sure I always travel in style... no more cheap hotels... yeah like real...

Daniah checking out her new home...

anywayz, the family is in BKK this weekend and staying at the Ascott. This is luxury living!

The girls got so excited to have their own room complete with a bathroom and tv!

It comes complete with a utilities area for washing clothes and kitchenette. The toiletries are all locitanne! And the best thing yet is all this is free... courtesy of hubby's company.... jealous right?

Tutup, tutup

2009-11-25T16:09:00.003+08:00

Daniah is so quickly picking up words but it is so funny listening to her, how she mispronounces them and stringing her words into a sentence without the injunctions in between...

Ahnie, Ahbop and Ahto.... members of the last tailong gang? Nope, they are just Barnie, Baby Bop and Tomato, Daniah version! Or Cuca encing... to say that my cousin was urinating... how she knows that, I dunno, just her assumption cos the lady was in the toilet! ha ha!

She has also started labelling any skin exposure as shame shame and a quick order to "tutup, tutup, tutup!" or cover up... hopefully she does not do this in public, well not yet at least...

It does amaze me how quickly pick up the words around them and I think I can safely say that my kids do have an impressive vocab for their age.... for example, Tasnym admonishing Sarah last week "Can you keep quiet! I cannot concentrate!" when trying to do some Maths sums...

Who is that teenager?

2009-11-23T09:26:00.002+08:00

Sarah suddenly decide one day that she was going to have her own room and sleep on her own. So we proceeded to convert the study into her room and have her sleep temporarily in the unused baby cot. And she proceeded to chase both her sisters out and start closing the doors to change clothes... but the last straw was when she kept the door closed and remained inside for an inordinate amount of time. "Since when did we have a teenager in the house?" I asked hubby. And the rule now is, you keep the door open! My baby is growing up! And she had no problems what so ever sleeping on her own.... it was only her mummy who was ever so worried and Tasnym as usual, wanting to make sure that she always has excess to the same room.

Talking about growing up, she graduated from K2 last weekend... the musical she acted in was hilarious but ok, at least we can rule out acting for her career! And definitely there were tears in my eyes as I saw her graduate and dance her graduation dance. Seems like I am more sad than she is that she is leaving her friends behind. Soon they will be just a passing memory to her.
Receiving her graduation scroll...

Seems ironic to me that as she was leaving friends behind, I reconnected with mine in a reunion of sorts at the graduation ceremony. Met 3 Secondary school classmates, all with graduating children. We have moved so far in our lives, while for our kids its just the beginning. And meeting them brought back memories of school.

As I went through all this, I could not help but think about some of my friends who have opted to home school their kids. I am not an advocate for homeschooling and am against the idea. Of course, I respect the decision that my friends are making for it is for the best of their own kids. I had asked one friend and she said that it was more for character building and to minimise negative influences. I felt that my daughter's experiences being in school, making friends and going through graduation was building character. True, negative influences may come but that is something that our parenting would have to manage as the time comes. I just felt that it may not be the best for children to be deprived of such experiences. I had negative school experiences but some of the friends I made in school were also some of my best. I regretted the fact that I never graduated from Kindy... yes I was a kindergarten drop-out! But thats another story... I think the teachers of those days can be hauled off for child abuse easily!

Primary 1 Orientation

2009-11-09T12:20:00.003+08:00

We went for Sarah's Primary 1 orientation and had not expected that she would be brought away for a readiness test. we arrived a little late and the children were all clustered into their classes and walking towards the classrooms by the time we arrived. My heart stopped when Sarah was led away and Tasnym wailed away as Sarah walked off without even looking back! Oh my, my baby has really grown up! I think dear hubby was feeling the same way as he went off to make sure that she was ok in the classroom though we were told not to go up ... yes first time P1 parents...

And she came back without a single worry talking away about how easy her test was and the only problem she had was with the Malay paper where the Malay teacher had to translate the instructions for her! So malu! All she could complain about was how bored she was in the room, well obviously she would not be having any problems settling in... and my worries about food would be laid to rest as parents are allowed to be with their kids at recess for the first 3 days... the only worry this mother has left is whether she will make friends and good friends too... Seems like I am crying over the loss of her friendship with her best friend, Sabrina while she seems completely ok abt it.... still too young I guess to know the meaning of friendship...

I was just so surprised that day when I met old friends from Primary School, Secondary school and even from work were sending their kids to Primary 1 at Sarah's school, almost a reunion of sorts... Some friendships losta nd some friendships found...

And it was money flying out that day what with paying for the uniforms, socks, shoes, books... thank God the fees is on $5.50 a month. It was really almost like an International school, Koreans, Chinese, Indians, Caucasians, Malays, Japanese.... and I got so excited learning about how the kids were going to learn languages through speech and drama, have computer classes etc... all in Primary1! Makes me kind of wish that I could repeat my Primary 1 all over again.

And now we have got to start convincing Tasnym all over again that she would be in a different school from Sarah next year...

Its going down down down

2009-10-23T19:02:00.002+08:00

I have been making a real conscientious effort in watching my calorie intake and its really making a difference.... but I have to admit that any effort at weight loss is precisely that... an EFFORT! There is no miracle cure to losing weight... it takes discipline but there are somethings that you can do to make it easier and make it look like you are not making much of an effort...

One thing I definitely learn is NOT to starve yourself and NOT to skip meals... you wont gain anything from doing that apart from making yourself HUNGRY, tremendously so.... it also does not work to deprive yourself of certain kinds of food... like my cousin found out, it just made her angry and resentful of her hubby who was happily eating away...

You can eat what you want, the key is in moderation... and the way to get to that is to cut it back bit by bit... like I mentioned earlier, there is no miracle cure, if you want a fast way, go join that weight loss program... whats' the name? Biggest loser? And trust me they will work you off your butt... if you do have the time to lose weight gradually and want it to last cos you change the way you eat and know that you have no discipline? Go slow, its easier on your body and easier for you to follow through...

What are my tips?
1) Drink lots of water and green tea... wash away the toxins and jump start our metabolic rate
2) Lessen your portion bit by bit so your body gets used to eating less
3) Increase your activity level... I know some people hates exercise so do other stuff that dun feel like exercise but burns calories just the same such as walking round the mall for 1.5 hours, that will burn close to 200 calories and is the same to walking around the tracks... or you can wak faster than what you usually do, walk up the stairs, walk from one bus stop away but I think the walking around the mall is definitely the easiest for me!
4) Allow yourself that cake or favourite food.... just not everyday and lessen the portion as well...
5) Eat a fruit before your meal so you feel full and would eat less as well

As time goes by, you increase this bit by bit as well.... and soon you find yourself more active and fit... and naturally eating less as well... all leading to weight loss

Try it... might work for you to

Soyee!

2009-10-16T20:23:00.003+08:00

It is so interesting to see how a baby develops language... one day they can say nothing, and then one syllable and overnight, that then becomes one word and one sentence...

One day they dunno the word and the next they do...

Just like Daniah...one day she says, more, more, the next she starts saying somemore and then completely stuns us one day when she said, I want some more.....how appropriate for this bottomless baby bird who would never fail to open her mouth wide and go "ah, ah, ah" upon seeing any food trays coming her way!

then out of the blue, she started saying Soyee to everything, whether it was her fault or not....So she would bump into something and then goes "Soyee! Soyee!"

She is also a terror in school, pushing kids out of the way in school... I wonder how that is gonna turn out? Push someone away and then say Soyee? Well she already know how to blame others... just ask her who has drawn on her hands etc.. even when caught red handed with a marker in her hand, she will point to her sisters and say "kakak"!

Hari Raya Blues

2009-10-02T18:47:00.003+08:00

Don't you feel that this Raya feels different somehow? And it is not just me saying it ... the feel is just not there... on the first day, I said to my hubby that it appears as if we were the only ones out and dun seem to see any other Malays doing the same... not on the roads, not at the bus stops... some were saying that it is cos of the exams but dun tell me all the Malay families are having kids facing PSLE, or their O or A levels...

Even the taxi drivers are complaining that somehow they did not seem to have many Malay passengers this round... The recession hitting hard?

I dun seem to understand the recent spate of articles in the Malay papers recently criticising the way the Malays celebrate Aidilfitri... some I do agree... like the Malays who dun fast but go over the top when it comes to celebrating... or those who overspend and start overhauling their home each year till they go into debt... but is it so wrong the we visit our relatives and for them to visit us in turn? Isn't it berkat to have people coming over to our home and if we only should visit the elder and dun get visited in return... well I think it becomes very sad...so I only get visited when I grow old and not before?

And what's with the criticism of us wearing baju kurung only during Aidilfitri? Would they rather we dun wear it at all? Isn't it good that at least we do... to keep that culture alive....

Why must it always be a criticism about what the Malays do while the other cultures are praised and placed in high regard for what they practise? What about borrowing some or learning from what that is good and yet keeping our own culture alive minus the negatives? So, I am all for bringing up the spirit of Ramadan... but we do not need to denounce our spirit of visiting in Aidilfitri. There was an article highlighting how in some other cultures, families would invite others to their home for feasting during Ramadan cos this is a way of earning good deeds... but the question I have is do they invite those of the same status as them or do they invite the poor? Cos if they do the latter then good but if they do only the former, then what is so great about that? And we can also invite the poor to our home during Aidilfitri right?

Even the culture of asking forgiveness on the mornings of Aidilfitri is bashed... that is not on practised in Singapore but also Indonesia and Malaysia... that is our culture... what is so wrong with that? Isnt it a good thing as a practise? Of course, I agree that we should not just keep this practise to Aidilfitri to seek forgiveness and it should be a regular thing we do .... but to bash this just because the other cultures dun do it? That I dun get.... Diversity is not a crime...not that I know of anyway...

The things kids say!

2009-09-22T14:01:00.005+08:00

Grandpa (Yayi): I want to be a hero, you think I can be a hero?
Sarah: You cannot become a hero, your stomach is too big!!

Tasnym to Daniah as they see the Superstar Virgo
Tasnym: Daniah, Sarah and I went on that ship. You never go because that time you were not born yet because mama and papa not yet get married!

Gosh the scandal! Mama and Papa not yet get married? With two kids already in tow?
: )

Anyway Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf zahir dan batin to all Muslims! And my diet went completely downhill with all the good food we feasted on these past 3 days....my weight has gone up up up!! stay down, stay down!

unfortunately this year, our ketupats did not turn out too well. Half unravelled in the water while the rest were to hard... all cos we put in too much rice... must remember to only put in 1/3 next time! All my backbreaking work to waste...

It was also a very tearjerking Hari Raya as we got the girls to also salaam and ask for forgiveness early that morning... Tasnym started crying even as she saw me cry while Sarah hid behind the sofa!

This year was also a different one for me... for the first time in my life, I did not go to JB on the first day of Hari Raya cos my granny had gone to KL instead. It feels so different and it felt like I did not have her, I actually teared as I spoke to her on the phone... how easily we take things we have for granted... And for the first time ever, I was actually told that I strongly resemble my late paternal grandfather, whom I have never met before as he passed away when my dad was only 3. Interesting huh? Out of all my cousins, I am the only one who has taken on the most Indian features especially with my nose... as my cousins say, the witches' nose!

Its going down!

2009-09-14T12:46:00.001+08:00

And to my happy surprise... I now weigh 64.5... for the first time in I dunno how many years... my hubby is jealous though... mwa ha ha....

Well it seems like I am losing weight so much faster now as compared to the months when I was exercising... I have not been exercising much for the past 2 months as had been too busy and fasting... I don't think exercising was the wrong thing to do, it helped to increase the metabolic rate definitely... but in itself was not sufficient to cause a loss... I suspect that the months of exercising however, helped me to lose my weight now... I actually lost 3 kg in the fasting month alone when I actually took months to weigh 1 kg previously... definitely it is a combi of both diet and exercise that really aids weight loss....

This was such a huge difference from last year when I did not lose weight at all during the fasting month... the exercise regime I went thru this year I think set the stage for the weight loss once I started cutting down on the food intake... and cut I did... with half portions even at break fast and not taking too much junk food laden with calories....

The trick now is to ensure that it does not go back up after next week's feasting....

First time first try... part II

2009-09-08T11:56:00.003+08:00

First time, first try.... and yes! Sarah is in the swimming class... learning how to tread water and jumping off platforms!! Tasnym? Well yes, she is still in the class... but no way would she jump off the platform or let go of her training board. She was screaming away in terror when the coach tried to take it away from her!!

And a first too for Sarah... she fasted the whole day for about 3 days, though most days has been half days.... fantastic for a first timer... she did all that while tasnym did her version of the fast, not eating but just drinking milk... enough to make her face rounder again!

First time, first try

2009-08-23T14:40:00.006+08:00

Ramadan is here again and to all Muslim reeaders, May you have a blessed Ramadan! this year is a little special as it is Sarah's first attempt to fast... half day albeit lasting to about 12 and today at 1 as I try to stretch it a bit at a time... it took much to persuade her... she was not convinced that Tasnym was not of age to start... I somehow suspect that she would last more than just half a day if Tasnym did not keep on insisting to eat and drink in front of Sarah... and she would do so saying at the same time that she was not fasting and thats why she could eat... truly deserving the dagger looks thrown by Sarah!

Funny thing was how I had to practically lift Sarah out of bed for sahur and guide her with her eyes closed to the kitchen.... I think not too far away from many adults too huh? And the demands for doughnuts and nuggets be it for sahur or buka... the demands is not befitting someone who is only fasting for half a day... ok lah for support sake...

Well it was a first day for Tasnym too yesterday... a first for her to attend her swimming class... Sarah though was still not convinced and remained adamantly stubborn against partaking in any classed, thank you very much! Although I did detect a hint of envy and the feeling of being left out, fear was a much bigger emotion to overcome... last night tho out of the blue she agreed to join the class but its still early days yet to see whether she will remain true to her word next Sat..

Putting on her flippers...
Tasnym was obviously enjoying her class as she chatted away with the coach, who was not exactly paying much of his ears on her!

Face of fear as she makes her first swim out..

Expose it not

2009-08-16T08:02:00.005+08:00

What does it look like to you? I was shocked when I saw Sarah sculpting this one night and realised that she was making a girl holding the bowl... the blob next to it is Tasnym's work... looks like a head of sorts... sometimes this girl amazes me... I really should be placing her in some art class... she has been bugging me for it... we just did not feel that the one by Crestar was meeting her needs... if you have any recommendations let me know....

Looks like some nostalgic picture from the past right? This was actually taken in Singapore, in Sembawang ... the girls were having a fun time doing what every kampung kid has done ... trekking through the lalang and weeds in search of treasure... interestingly it was the grandfathers calling out against this... the same people who did this when they were young...

NO wonder I cannot lose weight... just as the scales show a definite dip downwards during the week, it goes up again in the weekends... what with all the family functions we attended just these past 2 days alone... yes, I did cut down on the amount taken but the sheer amount of good food alone was sigh... just too tempting... and you dun get such good food often, so never mind just eat... after all fasting month is just a week away.... hey I am sure you go through such indulgences too! And I think somehow everyone had that same notion in mind as they tucked in and organised such feasts... quick, quick the fasting month is coming! eat, eat! That would explain having to attend 3 such functions the last 2 days alone...

Finally, finally I managed to convince Tasnym to join a swimming class at my good friend's condo... after she watched how the other kids got to wear body floats and flippers and decided hey, she was game! Sarah, however, was a tough nut to crack and remained adamant... good thing though, the daddy managed to convince her to release her deadly grip on him and float while wearing her life vest...

Interestingly there was an article in yesterday's papers about women in France fighting against the government who was trying to initiate a ban against women wearing a burqini in the swimming pools.. a burqini? I never knew that was the name for it...its basically the surfer suits that Muslim women have taken to wearing in the pools complete with head gear... the reason for the ban? cos they are trying to stop women from having to cover themselves head to toe while swimming... I read that and was going HUH? Isn't that a perogative right for women to decide for themselves what they want to wear... Hey if they are not stopping people from baring all at the nudists beaches, why are they stopping people from covering all? Or is that just a voyeuristic way to ensure that they get to see bare skin? I mean there are no safety reasons to prevent Muslim women from wearing the surfer suits...if you can wear it for surfing and diving... why not the pool?

And funny thing was that I experienced the same at my friend's private pool at the condo... residents apparently complained about my choice of wear... the security, however, defended my suit as it was appropriate swimming gear... it is afterall accepted at public swimming pools here... but cos I was wearing a sports beanie over my hair, I was hauled out of the pool... what was wrong with wearing a sports beanie? It was clean... same like any suits as it clung tightly to my head, same as any swimming cap, made of similar material... and it does not pose any safety issues ... well as my friends told me... the residents at the condo just loves to complain... well as technically they own the pool, I guess they have the right but please do it within reasonable grounds...

Pre-obese

2009-08-13T22:44:00.003+08:00

Yup that was what the health check report revealed ... that I am at pre-obesity... having 10 more kilos to go before I am safe from risks of heart problems.... 10 kilos.... the magic no to my pre-wedding weight...

How I envy my friends who remain super yummy slim after each birth... even worse those who can tell me that they don't even have to do anything to lose the weight, that it just goes away naturally! And here I am struggling to lose every single kilo, as it see saws up and down...

Enjoying her ice cream... she does not need to worry about her weight, remaining ever petite despite eating so much!

Sigh... another year has come and gone and another birthday... this just strengthens my resolve to lose that weight! Yup ts my birthday today and apart from losing weight, I have also made another resolution but I think that one I will keep to myself and not share heh heh... sounds mysterious? but well it is something very personal.

I am grateful for all that God has given me and this birthday brings along with it new challenges, a new job, more responsibilities... and new reflections that somehow makes me question life and my place in this world.

Talentime

2009-08-08T16:11:00.002+08:00

No neither my girls nor I just joined the Talentime... not the Singapore Idol either tho I seriously wonder about all the talk that the next Idol would be a non Malay.... Its a singing contest, what has race got to do with it? I do know though that when it came to the finial results between the 2 pairs - Taufik vs uh... whats his name? and Hady vs Jonathan (?)... race had everything to do with it... tho no media would ever highlight it... for fear of sparking serious recriminations... but the thing is that no Malay would vote for the Chinese singer though the non Malays may vote for either one... by virtue of that alone... the number game would shift in favour of the Malay singer....

Anyway... I am actually referring to the movie by Yasmin Ahmad... which I just finished watching... where race is featured strongly as an issue... I have become a fan and am greatly saddened that we have lost a great talent... I loved it how she weaved issues in a non-preaching way... when a girl said "dia masuk Islam bukan masuk Melayu" when an arrogant Datin questioned why their Chinese helper did not change her name despite her conversion... or when she depicted the Datin as being so righteous and holier-than-thou over the helper whom she had thought was a non-Muslim and yet does not pray... nails straight to the root!

I want to catch her other movies but seem to have difficulty finding them in Malaysia... until I read the websites and realised that basically her movies were not accepted by the Malaysian authorities who had wanted to ban her movies or censored chunks of it... Only people who have things to hide would have fears of such insecurities that the truth will be exposed... If you know where I can get Muallaf and Sepet, do tell me...

Me? A nag? Really?

2009-07-27T15:13:00.002+08:00

This is what my friends say I have turned into since I became a mother of 3....I think my maid would definitely agree cos I can go on and on about one thing. I know of friends who are mothers and I can definitely confirm that they are naggy... Though dun ever expect them to concur! Seems like being a nag is a natural thing after becoming a mother huh?

Just like yesterday when Tasnym fell on the escalator and even as I carried her away, the first words from my mouth was, see I told you, this is what happened when you don't want to listen and hold my hand.... My hub insisted that it was my fault cos I should have been in control rather than relinquish it to her (he is the other nagger in the house)... easy for him to say, he is not the one who had to deal with the slippery hand that keep tugging and twisting out of your hand... just cos she thinks that she is old enough to stand on the escalator on her own... and if I insist on holding on to her wrist, she will go Ow, Ow, pain pain! ... so drama when I am not even gripping! So maybe with this episode she will learn enough not to stand on the escalator without holding hands and I can stop nagging for once... you think? She does not even want to hold my hand as we go thru throngs of crowds at the malls...

Every night, how can the nagger in the house not come out? Go and brush your teeth (x10) Go and put on your sleeping underwear (x20) Go and urine before you sleep (x30) Dun read the book lying down (x40)

Its the same in the morning, wake up, drink your milk, go and bathe, put on your uniform, comb your hair..... all x50.... how can I not turn into a nagger, you tell me?

Primary 1? Already?

2009-07-21T17:46:00.007+08:00

The girls in their outfits for racial harmony day...

Sarah was registered for Primary 1 last week. She is now officially going to attend Tanjong Katong Primary as of next year.... and nothing can make me feel so old as that fact.... not even the fact that my next birthday is coming up fast.... nothing alerts you so much to your age as seeing your children sprouting up like taugeh in front of your very eyes!

Before I know it she is going to be in Secondary school.... with all the younger ones in Primary school... and then I will be fully certified as OLD! And to think that my primary school days are just like yesterday in my memory.... I remembered my mum being with me those first few days in school and also at recess, making sure I do the right things. I doubt they allow parents to follow their children anymore now right? Now I worry, would she know how to go to the toilet, would she know which food to buy and what not to buy? Would she be ok? To think that she is so fussy about eating... she may just end up telling the makcik that she wants just plain rice or just plain noodles without a single drop of gravy, meat or veggy... and I may get a referral to CPS yet for neglect!

Luckily we did not have much problems registering her as the daddy was an old boy of Haig Boys. I don't think our parents use to bother so much about which schools we go to, unless they had a speciific alumni. You just register at the school nearest your home, full stop. No thinking about what CCAs the school offer, their PSLE results etc... I think we make it so much harder for ourselves, worrying about every possibility. Now having registered her in a school at Katong, we have to think about the commute from where we live....and thinking about moving homes.... yet another headache...

When I first heard about Tanjong katong, I liked the fact that they had a large international community in the school and was getting a reputation for such. I had wanted my kids to be exposed to the different cultures .... I had also liked the fact that they had a good sports culture... (still an Olympic-athlete-mama wannabe!) So it was a good thing when we found out that the school had been a merger of Seraya Pri and Haig Boys and so we had auto admission.... why did they close down Haig Boys I wonder?

My next concern was how Tasnym would cope with Sarah entering P1. She has always been ultra possessive of her sister and true enough she made the nice decision of not going to school anymore when Sarah leaves kindergarten.

Tasnym: Mama, when Sarah go Primary 1, I don't want to go to school, I go stay at nenek's house!

Only when we persuaded her that Daniah would be joining her in school that she finally agreed... my mum though started worrying at the idea of Tasnym taking care of Daniah! It took us much persuasion for her to agree to go to school when Sarah went for her P1 registration... I guess the thought of keeping her doyens of boy-friends in school waiting for her made her change her mind! Another worry for my mum who is worried that Tasnym has more boy friends than girls!

Next Jos Yeo? Not!

2009-07-20T16:23:00.004+08:00

Sarah: I don't want!

Thats the only response I could get from her as I persuade her to go for swimming classes. Not even the fact that her best friend was in a swim class and I was trying to enrol her in the same one could change her mind.... Not even if it meant she had a friend in the class....

Tasnym? She is even worse! She would be screaming bloody murder and hanging on to me with a death grip if I ever bring her to a deeper pool!

Go down the water slide? No way!

Their fear? The water, deep water to be precise. I wonder if it had anything to do with us bringing Sarah in to the deep pool when she was a baby and letting go.... I was just persuaded by all those commercials of babies wide eyed swimming in the pool that I had given it a go.... hmmm.... maybe not the thing to do heh?

Actually she reminds me of me when I was much younger.... my primary school had swimming as its PE lessons and we would trek our way to the Yan Kit Swimming Pool to go for our lessons. I would cling on to the sides and not let go.... and if anyone had ever been to Yan Kit swimming pool... the deep pool is super deep! The teacher without fail would write in my report book... she must get over her fear of the water... hmmm ok......

Even younger yet, I remembered wearing my swimming float and yet never getting any wetter as I remain seated by the side! Hmmm... not to far off from what Sarah is showing now anyway.... Actually... Sarah and Tasnym are way better than what I ever was in the pool at their age...And yes I can swim now... thanks to lessons while in JC.... though not good... but well enough to get over the other side... uh... not length wise ok... just the width.... people are always so puzzled as to why I have never done scuba diving before... cos I can't swim 50 m la deh!

Oh well.... Jos Yeo she definitely is not (and neither is her Mama)!

Lets see what other sports I can train her up for the Olympics....

Plastic Panadol?

2009-07-10T08:15:00.003+08:00

Today is my second day at home on MC as I am nursing a fever and a bad cold... which explains why I suddenly have the time to update my blog...

H1N1? I have no idea and neither do the GP what with the community spread and all...

You know with the current situation, its hard for someone like me who generally tends to self medicate rather than go to the doctor... not that I am afraid or anything, just that I can't stand having to wait so long in queue, especially not when I am sick when I would just prefer to be lying in bed than to sit in queue on some uncomfortable plastic chair, staring at the electronic number board just wishing for it to magically change to your number.... as you glance nervously at your cardboard number slip.... although you know, just like you had known ten beeps ago that your number would only be coming in after no 29 and now its only at 10.... sigh... I think it just makes me more sick sitting at the doctor's clinic... I would say thats where any community spread would be happening... what with the old man hacking away with mouth uncovered oblivious to all the horrified looks around him ... to the child who coughs right into your face.... I think for the elderly they think its best to let all the germs out rather than keep it within them, so dun keep the orifices covered!!

I only go to the doctor when I really need the MC or when I am really sick that I need antibiotics. And even then I take my plastic chair and sit far away.... who knows how clean or dirty these clinics really are? How frequently or thoroughly do you think they can swab those chairs? There was even one time when I actually got bitten by bedbugs at the clinic and went into the doctor's office with fresh red welts on my arms! Uh yes I still go to the same clinic.... what can I say, the doctor is good.

I mean this is only true of course if you just have the common ailments.... I dun think I really need someone looking down my throat to tell me I have a throat infection, uh yes wouldn't I know that already considering how painful it is to swallow? Did you know that you could get very good medication through the pharmacies? And its much cheaper too! I do think that pharmacists need to get more recognition for the job they do. Actually they are pretty good at prescribing medication that works for common ailments. I found it so funny when I hear of people who refuses to buy the exact same medication from the pharmacist preferring to get it from the doctor, thinking that it would be fake maybe? Uh folic acid is folic acid wherever you get it from... and this is Singapore, not some country where the panadol may have been mixed with some plastic powder or something! If you've got a prescription, you can even get the medication from the pharmacist without having to queue at the doctors. That saves you time (no number cards), and saves you from having to deal with the horrors of germs and viruses at the clinic!

Standard Chartered Run

2009-07-09T12:08:00.005+08:00

And run they did! Both girls did us proud with Sarah going all the way and Tasnym running about 3/4 and walking for the rest. Now they liked running so much, they have been bugging us to bring them for runs on weekend... not that we had time to do that since the Kids run...

I think we will definitely go for it again, and it was a nice touch having the girls get medals for their effort...
The girls with their medals and tired out from the run

Thought it was funny though how some parents were pressurising their kids so much during the run... ease up will you? Its just a fun run, not even a competition... it reduced some kids to tears the way their parents were pushing them to keep running! Mr! The medal is not even real!

Cakap Melayu

2009-07-09T09:07:00.005+08:00

The non-Malay speaking members in the house!

I feel so ashamed... my kids can't speak Malay, especially Tasnym who with her pelatness somehow completely changes the word altogether... poloh-poloh?

I thought that I had it covered, speak English at home, speak Malay at my mum's and learn more Malay in school... surely that would be enough... until I realised that even my mum got drawn to speaking in English as they refuse to respond in Malay... and the teacher in school faced exactly the same problem... and to think that the girls actually attend an Islamic Montessori where most of the kids are Malay... and yet they dun speak Malay! Worse yet, to my amusement as I watched the girls play with their friends, at a recent birthday party, they actually speak English with an accent... dun ask me American, Australian or British... sounds like a complete rojak to me! I could only roll my eyes in response!

So I decided something needed to be done before my kids start failing Malay in school. Malay? How can you even fail Malay? My cousin's son did precisely that and it spurred me into action. So Saturday became speak Malay day... where I would not respond if they don't speak in Malay... you should see the look of dismay on Tasnym's face and exasperation on Sarah's! It even silenced them from talking as they figured it would be much easier to just remain silent that to say anything at all!

I would say that 2 weeks down the road... my effort has borne some fruit as Tasnym now speaks a little more Malay than she used to in her short 4 years of life! They still sound very odd though...: )

As for Daniah, I don't even know what language she speaks... a possible cross of some tribal stuff that requires every twist of the tongue... and the funny thing is she will speak complete sentences just that we have no idea what she just said!

Hello Okto, goodbye Disney

2009-07-07T09:21:00.003+08:00

At least for the older girls that is... no longer does Disney hold much fascination for Sarah... her favourite channel now is Okto... much to my chagrin as I am fully opposing to the very best I can, their watching violent cartoons on TV... not that I am very much in control as the remote control dun seem to reach Eunos from my office! My mum is not much of a help as she allows the girls to hold full reign over the tv! Her excuse "I can't control them... they can switch the tv on their own!" Since they've learnt how to change the channels and control the remote... they have full reign over the tv...

Even at home, Channel 34 has become so passe as they start preferring 32 instead with the more action packed cartoons rather than pocoyo and the like, meant for the younger folks. Pocoyo and little einsteins have been relegated to Powerpuff girls and Power rangers! But this would also mean that Daniah has no chance to develop her own tastes and watch appropriate fare as she is dictated by her sisters' taste... Already as it is, she is playing toys meant for older kids and not with her own.

My kids are getting more rowdy and I really want to blame it on the TV. But I also wish that my mum can be more firm with them in ensuring that they dun watch certain shows. Funny thing is they only reiterate this whenever I am around and start changing channels when I come home! I know TV is the easy way out, rather than having to entertain them and manage their squabbles, switch it on... that settles everything... I guess it also does not help that Okto only shows more appropriate fare in the mornings, when the girls are in school, while the more violent stuff goes on in the afernoon...

My blue eyed girl

2009-05-14T18:44:00.002+08:00

Somehow Tasnym has developed a fascination for make-up... she would wander off on her own whenever we went out shopping only to be found in the make-up segment.... so her father decided to buy both girls eyeshadow palettes to play with... and this was was the outcome...Blue eyes everywhere..... even Daniah was not spared her brushes...

not looking too happy with her make-over!

and least of all her teddy bears who are now all wearing blue eye shadows!

Baby tooth over and OUT!

2009-05-08T11:36:00.004+08:00

Sarah's first milk tooth for the fairy...

Sarah has finally dropped her first baby tooth... after a week of the adults agonising whether it would drop off in time to allow for the tooth, that was fast growing behind, to have room to grow... We were busy agonising whether her teeth would be crooked and she would lose her winsome smile!

Various attempts were made to tie her tooth to a string but no way is this girl allowing us near her mouth with any piece of string in our hand... she would inspect our hands first before allowing us anywhere near her... clandestine attempts were made at night when she was asleep but to no avail...

Finally after much reminders for her to shake it Sarah, shake your tooth... it finally dropped off on its own yesterday... she placed it in a small plastic bag and had wanted to bring it to school today to show all her friends... but unfortunately she has got to look for the plastic bag first as it has now gone missing... perhaps its with the tooth fairy?

and now the pressure is on for the loose tooth next to it...

Sarah with her new look...

Her Royal Highness

2009-05-05T14:37:00.002+08:00

Dress bought in Edinburgh Castle, Scotland - $20

Tiara bought at Disneyland Hong Kong - $15

Bag - a gift from her first birthday party - free

The total look - PRICELESS!

Working Gals

2009-05-02T11:02:00.007+08:00

Daniah.... hard at work...

the interesting thing was how she actually knew how to put one hand on the mouse and one on the keyboard!

I had to bring the girls to work today as both sets of grandparents went away on their vacations.... leaving us with no caregivers...

They basically turned my office upside down, running around, laughing and screaming and entertaining all in the office! And making an absolute mess!

Pimp my ride!

2009-04-29T15:02:00.006+08:00

I bought my girls a cabriolet jeep last week ... toy one lah.... and they can jolly well buy their own car in future when they have saved up enough money on their own! It was quite big and I got it for a steal at a factory warehouse sale... it even has a remote that could be used to move the car around especially considering that Daniah can't drive! Cool right? Even I wished that I could fit in.... Funny thing though is the music that the car could play... irritating and loud ah lian songs! typical of something made in China! I can't understand why all those toys made in China somehow all play the same songs?!!?

Tasnym's princess cake... she had a princess cake for school too!

We celebrated Tasnym's fourth birthday last week on 19th and for a while she was in denial... insisting that she was 3 and not 4... and to think that its not like she was reaching 40! We had to talk to her in accepting that she was now 4... she was resisting being that much older... wanting to forever be a baby...

For the first time ever, I brought them to that play area in Downtown east.... I was initially thinking that only kids could go in the maze, only to realise later that even the parents were climbing along with their kids... so with Daniah on one arm, I climbed along... and what a workout it was... my muscles were aching!

Daniah in the ball area for toddlers under 3 .... though Tasnym was happily jumping in cos she says that she is still 3!

And we went to the zoo again.... seems like its becoming a ritual to go to the zoo on birthdays! But the water play area is definitely good and so much fun for the girls... and I'm sure for dear hubby too, who went in the water slides as well!

Daniah going down the water slide....

Join me, join me...

2009-04-18T11:22:00.003+08:00

I have to say that I am truly amazed at myself and the progress I have made. I went from someone who basically had not been exercising for a supremely long time last Oct to exercising almost every day now! Going from not even able to survive 5 min on the treadmill to now going for 30 min non-stop without any problems...

See what a little effort can do? It just takes one step forward to get moving and grooving and soon, it would be that much easier.... trust me.... I know many have said to me... "I can't".... "I won't be able to do that".... etc etc.... hey, I was there and I know too how hard it was to even start... I was one of those who was saying... "I can't" too....

But I made that resolution to start and start I did... albeit very slowly... just dun push yourself too hard, I started off at once a week, low impact... slowly building in exercises into my lifestyle and now here I am, going to the gym 4 times a week, going aerobics once a week and changing my weekend lifestyle to be one that is more active - bringing the kids for rollerblading and such...
I told myself basically that I cannot wait for others and if I want to do something about my weight and my fitness, its got to start with me... so what if I am alone in the gym or dunno anyone in the aerobics class? at least I dun have to worry that people I know are laughing at how uncoordinated I am or how my flabs jiggle as I turn!

And I've got to say I simply love my Wii.... I have yet to lose in boxing I tell u! and Wii Fit is soooo fun! It really helps to you to keep grooving and moving and in such a fun way too! Wii Sports is my next favourite....

I have even inspired others in my office to join me.... that simply amazed me....me? inspiring others to go to the gym?

What's inside your nose, Tasnym?

2009-04-04T10:35:00.002+08:00

My kids seem to be developing all sorts of bad habits recently and it is driving me up the wall! What with Sarah having her thumb in her mouth..... although thats nothing new.... but she is turning 6 this year!!! and she does not seem any nearer to getting rid of the habit.... the irritating thing tho is her purposely putting her thumb in her mouth so that I will see it and scold her for it... her way of finding attention! Its cute when she was a baby... but definitely not cute now... I dun even want to smell her thumb! The nail has turned all brittle already... and she has also taken to biting her nails! Urgh!

If that is bad... Tasnym is perpetually having her finger in her nose! I seriously do not know whats in there that needs to be dug out almost every time of the day.... can a person have so much boogers?! In public mind you! Funny thing is when you address it with her, she will say "No, I neveeEErrr" with the finger still in the nose! And my mum has even caught her tasting the boogers too.... yuks, even the thought of it is so revolting! Oh God, people will think we never taught our kids properly... Once she is done with the nose, she will start peeling her lips making it all raw and red... she won't even allow me to put on lip balm to prevent it from peeling!

Social Graciousness begins with ME

2009-04-01T19:01:00.003+08:00

I feel quite proud of Sarah and how she has been wanting to be a helper to others, opening doors and trying to look out for those who might need her help... this has been something that the teachers has been noting abt her even when she was younger, her ever ready willingness to help her friends...

Sometimes she gets carried away, keeping doors open for a whole crowd of people walking thru and not surprisingly, many did not even acknowledge what she was doing, just walking thru without even giving her a glance or saying a word of thanks.... not that she was expecting it anyway... she was just wanting to help cos I had told her this was a way to help others...

If we have more people like her, Singapore would be a much gracious place but I won't be surprised if in time, Sarah would get tired and stop wanting to help so much esp if her efforts continue not to be acknowledge...

And I realised more and more that basically graciousness begins with us... we are expecting it too much from others... whining and complaining abt how this or that person was ungracious etc... even to the point of bitching and calling that person names, cursing that driver for cutting our lane and swearing loudly at how ungracious that driver was being.... without realising how ungracious we were becoming ourselves by doing that.... we keep putting the ball in other's court to be gracious without realising or remembering that essentially if we all start being gracious ourselves, we would soon begin to realise that the world was beginning to be that much better place to live in cos everyone is putting the expectation on their ownself to be gracious and simply NICE!

So shall we begin?

Armpit attack!!

2009-03-27T16:40:00.003+08:00

I really can't stand it when I see people showing off their armpits by wearing those sleeveless tops.... some people have very nicely toned arms and just does not go waving their armpits around... and that's fine... my grouse is with people flabby arms, unshaven armpits or armpits that simply should be kept hidden at all cost for various unmentionable reasons here.... why do you really want to show off such an unflattering part of you?

Dark armpits, those with flaps of skin.... please just keep it to yourself ok? Especially the men... oh men I can really faint at the sight of springy bushes of the clearly low-insight men holding on to the bus rails showing off all they have for all to see.... how can they even stand it, themselves... and how do they even manage to put down their arms? It is so bushy that I suspect they have to make quite an effort just to hang their arms down! Perhaps that is why they keep their arms up?

I also dun understand how people with really bad figures wearing very skimpy outfits... to me when its not good enuf to show off, just keep it to yourself... which is why in the gym and aerobics classes, I am the one with the baggy ts and long pants... you would never see me caught dead wearing those skimpy outfits... maybe when I am leaner and slimmer, I might but no way am I showing off unflattering parts of myself to others!

And yes finally, months of workout is showing the fruits of my labour, with slimmer butts and thighs.... so maybe just maybe.... I can show off something in aerobics class one day : ) but no way would it be the armpits tho... just keep that one to yourself ok?

To Wii anyone?

2009-03-23T14:34:00.002+08:00

I succumbed and decided to get a Wii but my dear hub beat me to it and bought me one hee! Super thanks dear hub! And its so fun! No sitting around and just pressing the controls, you get to get to the action.... I really felt like I was playing tennis in Wii Sports and cooking, stirring, chopping etc in Cooking Mama though I can never get my stove and oven controls right and my food always got burnt!

To add to my Wii, I bought the Ultimate Adventure Challenge and the Wii Fit... the Ultimate adventure challenge esp is good for the girls as they get to run and jump on the mat without having to worry about the controls ... they were having so much difficulty with the controls with Sarah not knowing how to steer and keep getting stuck by the side of walls in Mario Kart! Tasnym is the sore loser, stepping out of the competition and refusing to play on whenever she realises that she was losing... sigh! And she will throw tantrums and quarrel with Sarah!

So now I have Mario Kart, Sports, Pitfall, Cooking Mama, Sims Kingdom and a whole stack more courtesy of my friend who lent me her games.... now... to only find the time to play!

Singaporeans Gracious?

2009-03-20T15:33:00.006+08:00

I definitely dun think so... especially after my last 2 weeks experience in US and Vancouver ... after what I experience there on a daily basis, I now truly understand what customer service and graciousness really mean....

You are really made to feel welcomed and like they really care about you, and its all genuine... you know they are not just putting on a show.... struglle with a stroller thru a door, you have people walking out of their way to open the door for you, no need to ask..

Pushing the girls around in this stroller is no mean task and a tough butt workout!!

To think that people feel that Singaporeans are becoming more gracious.... yeah right! I just walked into Kiehls at Taka the other day, the salesgirl never even bothered acknowledging me. When I asked for the price of the lip gloss, "26" was the curt reply with a sharp nod when I said thanks, maybe she was busy especially with the store being empty! We've got a long way to go I tell you. I can still remember how I was treated when I went into Coach and was treated so well! You will get the same treatment even from any other smaller shops as well, people greet you, ask how you are doing, chat with you and go out of their way to serve you. Anyway, bad service is not tolerated with people ever ready to complain if they receive what they perceive to be bad service....they are willing to complain even if it was someone else receiving bad service (I actually saw that happening in MacDonalds'!)

The trip was really good with me buying half the coach outlet store! I just dun und why Coach Singapore has to jack up their prices by so much! The same bag in Singapore can be bought at just a fraction of the price in US. Shopping was definitely good with my luggage nearly exploding... and with such good service, who would not buy lots of stuff?

Playing on Grouse mountain in Vancouver... we had no idea how to make a snowman... anyway it was too cold for me to even want to try!

It snowed! And everything became a white wonderland...to think that Vancouver was once known as Sunny Vancouver cos it never was known to snow there...

And yes we got to experience snow for the first time! And ended up falling sick with me and the elder 2 girls registering 40 deg fevers! Must be the shock to the system to encounter such cold!

My best meal of the whole trip... eating at Crab Pot neat the waterfront... huge crabs, clams, corn and potatoes dumped on to your table and you dig in! YUM! It was good with the seafood being super fresh and sweet...

My meal of fresh oysters at the Pike Market

Pike Market.... where the fish go flying after you buy them!

Food though was a problem... not that there was no halal food but we had to really go out of our way to get them... So I went on a diet, not that I was not on one already! And I lost 3 kg! Which finally registered on the scales! What with all the walking, lack of food and 40 deg fevers! Ha!

The beautiful view of Mt Rainier and the Space Needle in Seattle.

Weighty issues

2009-02-25T18:56:00.002+08:00

Drink lots of water - check
Drink lots of green tea - check
Eat lots of fruit and increase fibre intake - check
cut down food portions - check
exercise 5 times a week - check

So question is why is the weighing scale not registering a smaller number? I have drunk so much water that the toilet has become my second office and my green tea sachets are running out...

Friends around are saying that I look slimmer and that puzzles me... well I know there is conversion of fat to muscle ... with muscle being more compact and heavier... but it won't harm the stupid scale to register a smaller number would it? And it is so unfair (hmm.. this is giving me a sense of dejavu... have I made the same whine in earlier posts?) ... when I eat slightly I gain weight much faster than I can lose! Urgh!! Blame my mum, why must she make nasi rawan, roti kirai and kacang pool three days consequtively (eh how to spell this word)... sabo me like that!

Someday my prince will come...

2009-01-30T17:27:00.002+08:00

Sarah: Mama, one day I want to marry a prince (after we finished reading Cinderella together)
Mama: Uh... okay...
Tasnym (starting to wail): I want Sarah! I want Sarah to marry me!!
Sarah: Eh girl cannot marry girl lah Tasnym!!

I think it was in every girls' dream... or almost every girl to marry a prince... the romantic dashing prince who is going to sweep you off your feet, ride off into the sunset, saving you from the stepmothers and witches of the time... seems like every girl dreams of being a princess... where did all these fantasies come from, I ask you... I blame it all on Disney... I mean before my girls knew the princesses, Tasnym's dream was to either become Mickey mouse or Barney. now she wants to be a princess and Sarah wants to marry a Prince... I think its also Disney's fault that we somehow inadvartently look for a prince in the non-prince guys who comes along... not willing to look at the genuinely nice guy cos well he is not a prince.

I never really thot about it before but I kind of now realised how silly the princess fairy tales are... I mean why must the prince in Cinderella use the shoe to look for her? You mean he can't recognise her face, just because she was all dressed up? After all they did dance together... didn't he gaze at her face long enough? He really needed the shoe to find the girl? And you mean only Cinderella has that shoe size and no one else did? Hmmm sounds like me actually, perhaps she too wears a size 10...

And that Snow White, the prince saw her in a glass coffin and fell in love with her... talk about being morbid... falling in love with a dead person and for them to just ride off in the sunset when they barely even know each other???!!! For all she knows, he is an axe-murderer...

See what these fairy tales are teaching our girls... that men are basically myopic guys who cannot even recognise/ see the beauty in front of his eyes (hmmm....kind of true actually) .... or that they should just trust in the guy who lifted them out of a coffin even though they have no idea what he is like... no wonder we have so many women just falling for the wrong guys... the guy just need to do something small and nice for the girl and she has fallen for him...

Its time for the stories to change... thats for sure!

1st birthday

2009-01-12T12:02:00.009+08:00

Making sure everything is in order for the party...

Yep... everything is in place

Daniah's first birthday party had come and gone.... and I think (and hope) there would be a long while before I need to plan for another one.... already Sarah is telling me that she would like her birthday celebrated at the chalet and wants to have a pinata too!! bankrupt!

I dun have pictures from the party as was not holding the camera that day... pics are with the hubby and thing is he passed his camera on to his cousins who took photos of themselves! ha ha! oh well... I didn't even eat much... didn't even get to taste my mil's scrumptious cooking... just didn't have the appetite... so my diet is still in check despite the party... and yipppeee!! I have finally broken the barrier and am down to 69kg!! Pressing on downwards....

Counting her pressies

Thank you, thank you all, I love you!! And now if I can only find a way to stop my sisters from taking away my presents!

We spent the next day at the zoo and the night safari (which is a first for the girls)... not that Tasnym was aware of anything in the night safari as she had within 45 min of being there, zonked off to lala land!!!

Sarah... feeding the goats

Bouncing up and down in my little red wagon... who are you calling a boy?

I wish Daniah's hair would just grow faster... she is being mistaken for a boy that I have taken to ensuring she is in dresses... even with her pink mary jane shoes, a pakcik can mistaken her and called her "abang nak makan roti?"... the pakcik must have serious problems with his eyesight... for a moment there I was wondering who that old man was referring to... she is getting fairer by the day but no way would she be able to fight Tasnym in being super fair!

Its kind of funny cos the same thing happened with Sarah where all will mistaken her for a boy despite my best efforts to put hair clips on her etc. Alamak!! Tasnym, on the other hand has never been mistaken for a boy... her curls and looks are definitely girl but her behavior... oh my!

10 things for the year

2009-01-07T18:07:00.002+08:00

I did not make any new year resolutions ... still have not...

But a few days back, one of my good friends talked about how she was going to do 40 new things she has never done before in her life for this new year .... and it set me thinking... that perhaps I should do the same... not 40, I think thats too many for me ... but perhaps a much smaller number of 10.

Hmmm.... what could I do? Learn to play an instrument? Teach my daughters the value of charity? I really dunno... When I was younger, I did feel quite oppressed by my parents, as they in their want to protect, was too careful as to what they would allow me to do... but now, with 3 kids in tow... its gonna be tough too...

Ok for one... to visit the US of A and Canada...

I'll think of more and update : )

And twirl....

2009-01-06T16:23:00.006+08:00

Tasnym went for her first ballet class least weekend... she had been sooooo excited that she wanted to 'try' on the clothes over and over days before....

Hands on the waist Tasnym, not the tummy.... dun worry just breathe in...

She was the only one in the class in purple while all the other girls were in pink.... and also the only one with a tiara on her head... ever the absolute princess!!

Poor Sarah was also supposed to start her art class on the same day... something she had been bugging us on for months and months.... unfortunately the teacher was ill that day and her class had to be postponed... luckily she is such a good sport and willingly and nicely drew at the lobby while waiting for Tasnym to complete her ballet...

All excited, and ready to go.... the teacher better turn up next week!

2008 - it came and it went....

2009-01-02T17:17:00.005+08:00

Well the year came and went... it was just another day for me as 1 jan rolled by... there was no special celebrations ... afterall the main organiser aka 'ah' is out of town... and to think I missed out on last year's due to Daniah's birth...

I have no new year resolutions... can't be bothered to come up with one... dun think i'll stick to it anyway... tho I definitely am very serious about losing weight... and lose I have tho I so easily gained it back after eating at parties.... I take one month to lose and 1 party to gain... fair or not I ask you?!! I was definitely amused today standing behind 2 guys at the pharmacy counter buying nicotine patches to stop smoking ... good for them... apparently their new year resolution... wat with more restrictions curbing where they can smoke... ban it in all public places!

oh well... we had a fun last weekend, going to Malacca, the zoo, marina barrage... all in one week... and Daniah ended up contracting a throat infection with fever... orang nak tukar tahun : )

her birthday bash is coming up this sunday... so fast time flies... and Sarah is going to Primary 1 next year!!!

The Equatorial Hotel in Malacca was really good... I would recommend it as a destination ... I mean Malacca used to be such a sleepy town, people would just drive past to go to KL but with the opening of the Dataran Pahlawan Mall, it was good shopping, shopping, shopping.... the mall really reminds me of MBK in BKK to a smaller extent. There was a small shop selling tiny little baby nyonya kebayas... so cute!! next time I'm gonna go back to get that!!

1st birthday!

2008-12-18T11:16:00.003+08:00

Daniah's first birthday party is coming up, all planned for 4th Jan... we were unable to get a chalet on an earlier date as they have been solid booked for the whole of Dec... so Jan 4th it is... Its beginning to feel like I am planning for her wedding or something as I go into the full mode of buying all sorts of things for the party, pinata and all... the works I tell you!! I have been having it in my mind that this is the last 1st birthday party I am preparing for and so kind of went on an over mode in preparing and planning...

Not fully decided on the menu yet, but we will be having a bbq... chicken, meat, seafood... grandma would be the cook... of course... possibly coming up with delicious main course... maybe bamiah...I dunno... I was even thinking of having boiled cockles...

For that day, my diet takes a break....

I am definitely not seeing any downward movement on my scale... still stuck at 70... I have also started taking several small meals instead of 3 large ones with most of those small meals made up of fruits... Climb up stairs, aerobics, gym... if only I could see the numbers go down... One thing tho I do notice is that I am more fit and toned...

The scale must be broken...

2008-12-15T11:00:00.006+08:00

I am totally an impatient person... which is why I simply cannot wait for the scale to show that I have even made the slightest impact in my recent efforts to really lose weight! That scale has something against me I tell you! Sigh... I am on my journey back to where I was when I got married... way before these 3 babies had loaded on the weight for me....

I am not giving up but it does little to the esteem when a month's worth of effort has not registered a change.... not even a single darn kilo??!!! I do think tho that I have reduced some inches around the waist tho I have definitely not checked... too scared that I would be disappointed!! But the tummy does look flatter... maybe a tiny little bit...

I am not going on some diet fad ... or taking anything that might harm my body... I know of friends who had gone on the just fruits diet etc... but I'm definitely not doing that cos I seriously do not think that is healthy. I am not the sort who would drink health shakes either as a substitute for food... thats not food!

I am going to cut down on taking snacks, taking unhealthy fatty food (ie no fries, chips, donuts... eeek and the list goes on!!), eating less carbo (that I can't burn off), less red meat... but maintaining a good intake of fruits and protein... also starting to be more active...

I have completely cut out sweet drinks (no more bubble tea, peach tea, lemon tea.... waaaah!) ... mineral water is all I take now and I dun eat dinner usually or replacing dinner with fruits... And for a month now, I've been going for aerobics, once a week... tho I do think I need to do this more frequently tho its hard to get time off from work to do it and I can't bring the girls to aerobics... so I am gonna start walking up the stairs at work more often too...

surely all these sacrifices would amount to something... the scale is broken I tell you!!

Tateh!

2008-12-12T18:27:00.005+08:00

The girls on Hari Raya Haji in their Aodai...

Daniah has been resisting to walk on her own... despite making all her rounds around any table she can find for the past 2 months now... she definitely could do it cos she managed to make 2 steps when she was not conscious of making that step... but try to get her to walk with her fully aware... and she definitely won't do it... Finally today... Sarah called me at work to say, hey Daniah has walked a full distance!!

In my set of wheels..

I am kind of glad that despite being a full time working mum, I have never missed any first milestones that my children did... its like they waited for me before they make that first step, the first clap, the first smile...

And the next thing she does now is to hide and go "Caaaaak" (or should I say 'Taaaak' in her words?) when she sees your face... Very good at screaming too whenever she fights with Tasnym over toys.... but the funny thing is that she would then look over at me or my mum in tears, making noise, like asking us to do something to defend her and complaining about Tasnym... she does overstep it too... complaining about Tasnym over the slightest thing even when the sister was not doing anything much apart from being near her...

My honey and poison...

2008-12-07T19:30:00.002+08:00

She is my honey and my poison... that was how my dad once described me when someone we visited during the hari raya period years ago commented on my status as an only child. It was not my parents choice to only have one child... that I know... but it was God's decision that there would be only one...

I know of friends who planned only to have one child, for whatever reasons... be it financial, a lack of time, inability to cope etc.. but whenever I can I would put my two cents worth why they should not only stick to one... no, it has nothing to do with the govt's drive for more kids but more of the challenges that an only child has to face... it goes even deeper than the idea of not having any playmates at home... well yes, I was lonely and yes I did not have a playmate but as I grew older, there was the growing realisation of a huge responsibility that I shoulder completely alone, far greater than even the notion that I am the only one who could fulfill my parents' expectations...

Many parents would say that they would not want to depend on their children to care for them in old age... not knowing whether the child they brought up could even be depended on... they may say that they would not want to burden their children anyway, having kept the necessary money for their old age...

But fact is that, any well brought up filial child would carry that burden and responsibility with them...that is of caring for the parents... and it falls completely and only on me... I can't share it not having anyone to share it with...Who would I be able to turn to when I may be faced to make a decision about my parents welfare... what if I cannot afford to pay for my parents' medical needs... who is there to help me in sharing my parents' care- physically, emotionally and financially?

No one... it falls on me and only me.... the thought scares me... what with increasing medical costs... it scares me ... to know that there is only me that I could turn to...

And that is the huge burden that any single child have to carry... You may think that you are doing the child a favor to have only one child as you think that you can then concentrate on giving your best to that child... but you may not realise the immense responsibility that you had inadvertently placed on that child's shoulders...

I fully envy my friends and cousins who have siblings... they do not realise the good fortune they had in having siblings... I cherish my cousins though they may not always feel the same way about me.. as I know that they are the only quasi-siblings I can ever have... but realisation is often there that at the end of the day... it is their family sub-systems that they would turn to and be loyal and at the end of the day, I am still outside that circle... It also puzzles me sometimes why siblings want to destroy the relationship that they have with one another... they dun seem to realise the gift they have, to quibble over non-matters... but I cannot truly understand, may never be able to as I continue standing on the outside looking in...

Glam Bags

2008-12-06T10:12:00.004+08:00

If you were to see a mum struggling with her baby and young pre-schooler while the maid walks behind carrying a glam coach bag.... that would be me.... I would also be the one pushing the stroller.... while the maid walks empty handed behind me...

When I walk around Singapore shopping malls... and believe me I do a lot of this.... I see many glam mums walking carrying their glam bags on their shoulders while the maid struggles with the baby and the diaper bag and the groceries.... these mums may even balk at the idea of having their maids carrying their precious LV, Gucci bags ... at the possible notion that the maid may taint the bag in any way...

My thots are... what exactly is more precious to me.... my bag or my baby... and I can easily tell you its my baby.... my hub has sometimes scolded me that I dun value my bags very much cos I kind of place it anyway and anywhere in the house... and in a sense that is true... I mean I like my bags and all but I do not think I want to put so much value on them no matter how much expensive they are.... and no, I am not rich....

Even from the very first time we had a maid, it has always been our idea that the maid should never be given any child rearing task... and my situation allows it as my mum does the child minding while the maid only do household chores. Even in my household, the same happens when I am not at work that I and the hub care for the children while the maid does the other chores... she only helps in supervising occasionally...whenever the need arises....

I balk at the idea of my children preferring my maid to me... even the thot that any one of my child would turn to my maid rather than me is a nightmare that I would never want...so I would carry my baby whenever we go out because I would always want the first preference of my children to be me, not the maid.... when the child falls and get hurt.... and the first person they turn to is the maid... I would see myself as having completely failed as a parent...

But of course that is me.... if you prefer the children to go to the maid... and the bags have a strong attachment to you... that is ultimately your choice....

Tatak!

2008-12-04T16:27:00.004+08:00

Someone is definitely showing that she is no pushover and has a mean temper of her own... try touching her toys, especially if its Tasnym and you'll get a scream in your ears... A person who still can't walk yet and already starting to talk.... calling her sisters "Tatak" to the amusement and delight of both!

She would be in the midst of the older ones playing... no way would she allow them to play without involving her... her birthday is coming up ... can't believe how time flies and soon she would be one... and Sarah would soon be in P1, Argh I'm growing old!! I do love babies... but no way am I gonna have another one... I can't even cope with these 3... with the world changing so much...I do worry abt how the girls will turn out to be and whether my parenting would ever be good enough... whether I am doing the right thing.

I got a bad fitness assessment last week... not that I was expecting otherwise... but it really hit me that I really need to do something... not enuf to just be depressed and whine about my state of health... so I got serious and signed up for Amore classes... have gone for weekly classes now... but still very uncoordinated trying hard to gelek top and bottom in my bellydancing class... sometimes tho I watched the others and truly wondered at how seriously they took the classes... I do it for fun and to lose weight but these people seems all out to be the next world belly dancer to rival Ms Turkey! Did Yoga too... who ever said it was easy... and what chants?... I can't even think ...just needing to focus on maintaining my balance....

So there goes my bubble tea... no more can drinks... sigh... I must be determined and more serious in doing this... I am so tired of people asking me if I am pregnant.... NO I AM NOT!!! ... after all I've been battling my weight gain since my first pregnancy 5 years ago...to be labelled as obese tho I dun look it... and to have a fat content of 40%... gulp... I know where all that is!!

Oh well... onwards in my journey in losing weight ...

Innocent Babes

2008-11-26T12:40:00.004+08:00

We went to another Parent teacher meeting last weekend... with some trepidation as to what complaints we may be getting on Tasnym... and she didn't fail us... with the van driver complaining about her not wanting to sit and be belted ... the teacher shared about an incident in which she had purposely stepped on another girl's hand ...after the latter provoked her by demanding that she sit down during circle time instead of standing beside the teacher... and then running away very quickly to sit elsewhere... I did not know whether to laugh or cry... At least we know she can defend herself and would stand up to unwarranted criticisms and demands!!

We were also amused to hear of how Sarah would ask permission to leave her class whenever she hears Tasnym crying, in her words "My sister needs me, I need to go out,"... and sometimes in exasperation when Tasnym starts wailing for me, to say "Mama go work!"

The joys of children....

Which leads me to seriously wonder how and why some people could have the heart to harm their children, torture them and cause them so much pain that it lead to the little child's deaths... tho I admit it might be a better option for these children to be dead than to remain alive under such parents and have their agony prolonged. One baby did not make it even to her 6 months birthday... Why would someone even bother go thru 9 months of pregnancy, painful labour only to kill the very ones they had carried in their womb? Or allow someone to do it...

What is it that could lead a man to feel aroused by a baby ... and feel the need to rape the little child? Read about Baby Brianna and baby P and you will know what I am talking about...

Harlow's experiment on the monkeys showed that monkeys who had been deprived of love and care in their infancy and early childhood were unable to develop empathy and were at high risk of killing or harming their own offsprings... similar observations in orphanages that are not well run showed babies and young children with 'dead eyes' and a lack of ability to develop a social relationship with others... I can only shudder at the thought of them becoming parents one day in turn and how they could or would not be able to develop any feelings of love and care for their children... and subsequently causing the baby harm... Could that be the reason behind why Baby Brianna's parents and baby P's parents had done so much harm... cos they too had been harmed themselves in their childhood or cos they had never been taught or received the true meaning of love when they were younger... disabling their ability to generate empathy for others...and the ability to stop... before they would cause harm...

Ready, steady and UP!

2008-11-19T10:04:00.006+08:00

Ready, steady yourself first and up you go on two legs... the momentous joy of learning to stand!!! She too realised what a feat she had achieved and would clap happily ... she can already walk around tables at top speed mind you, lifting one leg high up and thumping it onto the ground repeatedly as she moves around the table... funny thing is that she only goes counter clockwise!! Try putting a piece of tissue a distance away and you can see her moving at top speed homing in... favourite activity - shredding tissue paper!!

My mum as usual has this theory that I had eaten too much crab during pregnancy which is why Daniah walks like a crab... sigh... where does she get all this ideas?

Hot Potato and Grasshopper Gal

2008-11-18T18:29:00.005+08:00

Sarah with her best friend, Sabrina.

The girls had their year end concert performance again... this time at the DBS auditorium... and my did Tasnym have a performance! No crying this time, she got to the groove... but funny thing was the sullen serious expression on her face the whole time... The thing tho was that she was at the far corner preventing us from getting better photos... but possibly the teachers were just trying to be careful after last year's fiasco!!

Sarah too had a good performance but I think I definitely preferred her Malay dance last year...

Til death do us part?

2008-10-18T10:38:00.003+08:00

Marriage is suppose to last a lifetime and beyond... and so we hope and pray as we make solemn vows on our wedding day... but not many does... we know the statisitics have gone up but it is just a number and it remains a remote information as it is just something that happens to someone out there and you theorise why it happened... they are too young, immature...

The situation however, gets different when it comes closer... and it happens to people you know or close to you and you hear the stories of the marriage that falls apart... you just realise that it is not just to do with being too young or immaturity... its for real, no longer a statistics in the govt page... and you just end up wondering whether it could happen to you and pray that it won't ...

In all the cases I know... it was the man who had walked out... physically and/or emotionally and in all the situations it was because of the presence of another person... I'm not male hitting here but I asked myself what was it that had happened in that marriage to have caused the man to look elsewhere? What had happened to the love that brought the two person together to make the man feel, well the love is no longer there and now its time to look elsewhere? Or is it something else?

It was only in one case I know that the man had not been in love in the first place, more of a rebound relationship when he got married but for the others, they were love matches... no one had put a gun to their head to get married... so what was it that made them then look elsewhere?

You know its easy to just blame the women... both the wife and the other party - the so called seductress who stole the husband away... its easy to say ...oh, maybe the wife did not look after herself, did not meet her husband's needs, was too focus on the kids... that the seductress did all that and seduced the man ...and oh so easily we just absolve the man of his guilt of walking out of his family...

In all the cases that I knew off, the wives were all still pretty and young... one had a fantastic looking body...so where does that put us? In one case, the 'other woman' is a friend... and nowhere in my mind can I even picture her as a seductress... she is just a normal everyday girl... just like anyone else... though I was thinking that I would be very worried if I was the 'other woman'... if this man can leave his wife for me... there is nothing to stop him from leaving me for someone else...

So it goes back again to the man... a friend of mine laughed abt it and said we have such low opinion of men's ability to stand up to temptation and think of them to be so weak that they could easily fall off the other side... but I don't think its so easy... I mean what is it that could make them forget their vows, their children and their responsibility and just move on to another heart, another warm body in bed... is it as simple as that it is their predisposition to be that way? I truly dun know... hmmm... need to think more about this... if anybody has any opinions, let me know...

Tudung babe...

2008-10-17T15:41:00.004+08:00

Its been 3 years now since I don the tudung and shocked all those around me... They never expected it and many came to my work cubicle frequently in the early weeks, trying to adjust to the look and kept telling me that I looked better without... trying to reconcile and sort out whether the tudung had made a difference to the person...

I gritted my teeth and held on ... knowing that I have made the right decision... a decision that I did not make easily, but took much time to contemplate... I never looked back...even when it got too hot or when the tudung simply refused to sit still, having a life of its own... how people can wear it without pins to hold it down is simply beyond me.... or when the baby kept tugging at the ends...and through time those around me realised that the person inside is still the same... I was still me...

I was asked why I made that decision and the answer was simple, because God has asked me to and I finally felt that I was ready. Some may criticise me for that as they may say that it should not be based on my readiness but simply something for me to follow... I felt though that if I had not felt ready, I may resent it and not been committed to the decision to don the tudung... I do not belief in forcing my daughters to wear the tudung and definitely do not agree to practices of making young children wear the tudung... they will wear it when they are ready and I will just guide them on just what is the complete no-nos... I am happy to note that they do see me as their role model and on occasions had asked me to don tudung on them as they see me putting it on...

Why did I do it at that point of time... basically cos I had been asking myself what was it that had been holding me back for so long... when I knew that it was something that God had wanted me to do...I had asked myself, was it simply vanity? What made me think that a person who wears the tudung is not beautiful? Isn't Wahdina still beautiful... even more so after she dons the tudung...and somehow I think God opened my heart to make that decision... with a full wardrobe of tudung that can't fit in anymore!

I make this entry as I reflected on some discussions on forum threads why Muslim girls do this and why some had chosen to take it off after a period of donning the tudung. I knew a girl who did just that and I've always wondered what prompted her decision but never close enough to be able to ask. Who am I to judge anyway...

I know many who would not want to don the tudung or who are hesitant to do so... some simply cos out of vanity as they think that wearing the tudung would turn them into a makcik...or as they fear or worry about how others would view them especially when many of their friends do not wear the tudung or are non-Muslims... To this I would say, why should you worry, the choice is between you and God and others perception of you then becomes a challenge that you must face... and this makcik would also tell you... hey wearing the tudung can be beautiful... and if you are a makcik, just act your age!

Interestingly, it is also my non-Muslim friends, after they grew accustomed to my wearing the tudung, also became my 'tudung-protector'.... they are the ones who would tell me when I am 'showing skin' or hair and would even begin to question why other Muslim girls are not wearing the tudung when it is clear according to religion that they should...

The funny thing though is the awareness of how differently people treat you whether you wear the tudung or not... I remember in my university years, how somehow I didn't fit in with those who wore the tudung, there was somehow an us against them sense of delineation... although I had never been wild or fitted in with the party going girls either... I also sense how some people developed a berth around me after I wore the tudung, some out of respect.... others possibly on the notion that I am different and therefore would not have any commonalities with them... the sad thing though is that they never bothered to learn the real me or got to know me well enough to test out their presumptions and notions about me... I was different... and that was all they were willing to see...

Would I remove the tudung... no, I dun think so... and somehow I feel great pride when I see my younger cousins and other Muslim girls donning it on for the first time... and I welcome them into the realm of tudunghood...while I wait for the others to see the beauty of donning the tudung and join the realm too ... You know who you are ; )

Second Child Syndrome?

2008-10-16T10:07:00.003+08:00

I have been scratching my head on how to manage Tasnym... even began to have doubts on how my parenting was as she tests every skill and knowledge in my books...

I think it really made me feel so much better after a conversation with my Australian consultant a week ago and felt so reassured when she shared similar experiences in managing her second son... she is the expert and if she had problems... what more me a mere mortal? Tantrums, strong personality, dealing with sibling rivalry... everything all in one package... And my conversation with others revealed that I definitely am not alone in facing these... but the coincidence is in it happening with the second child.

What is it about being the second child that we are seeing their behaviors to be so challenging... or is that a mere coincidence in the order of birth... I truly wonder.... Possibly they are trying to find their own niche after coming in second, making sure that they not lose out to all the privileges that the first born has gotten... possibly it is their way of ensuring that the first does not always remain first by virtue of birth but that they get first options too...

It definitely seems true for Tasnym... she always has to be in control, have her say in everything and be first always... even with Daniah, she insists on having her way...sometimes you just feel so sorry for Sarah as she keeps having to give in and you know that its not right that the situation is that way... but peace of mind (from having to deal with that deafening high screech) always wins when you are tired from work... rather than having to be a fair parent who maintains equality and justice...

I know one day Sarah is going to turn around and say that I am not being fair.. not that it has not happened already... but I do hope it would not impact on their relationship with each other as I have heard it happen to other sibling relationships...

Not just a birthmark...

2008-10-05T09:20:00.003+08:00

A while ago, I posted my thoughts on not being bothered abt my baby's birthmark anymore... but a few days ago. I learned that it may not be such a benign matter. Spoke to a doctor friend of mine who is a consultant at NUH, who told me that there are instances where such marks are connected to the brain leading to the child getting fits and seizures. He has so kindly offered to have his friend who is a plastic surgeon assess the matter for us.

My friend said that it was important for us to have it scanned and assessed soon. Who would have thought? I really hope it is just what it is.. a birthmark and nothing more..

Anyway, Daniah is already finding her feet at 8 months and now in her 9th month, she may just start walking very soon... Her sisters were also very fast having started walking at 10 and 9 months. And we'll soon have another one to chase after... wonder how come we still have not lost any weight?

Zee Caterpillar

2008-09-06T10:21:00.003+08:00

Daniah is now doing her best caterpillar impersonation... go on all fours then slide forward... on all fours then slide forward... and repeat

She has also been able to pull herself up to standing position, won't be surprised if she starts walking very soon.. she is very active and always getting into her sisters' way, trying very hard to get involved in whatever they are doing, to their irritation... we are just waiting for the day when it would be a 3 party fight and quarrels rather than the 2 way fights between just the 2 elder girls... As it is, the older girls are already complaining, "Mama, look at Daniah disturb my book!"... sigh...

Come on smile!

2008-08-31T08:58:00.006+08:00

Here are the studio pics!

So angmoh right?
And this one ever so sweet!!

Gorgeous huh?

The ones below are photos that my dad took of the girls. Sarah's is not available in soft copy. Its amazing how alike Tasnym and Daniah look when they smile. Interestingly, Daniah looked exactly like Sarah when she is not smiling!

So who is who? Which one is Tasnym and which one is Daniah?

Sakura

2008-08-18T18:04:00.002+08:00

Arent' they simply gorgeous? My two princesses... We went for another family photo shoot last week and were simply too ambitious signing up for a package that allows us 6 costume changes, we barely made it past 2 before Tasnym decided to call a strike and refused to smile anymore!! So not surprisingly only the first few photos turned out well with the rest in the bin! We got 6 soft copy poses too ..so will put that up when its done...

Lets just share..

2008-08-18T16:27:00.003+08:00

There was an article in the papers a few weeks back abt non-handicap people using the handicap toilet.. again..

Actually I am one of those who do use the handicap toilet pretty regularly.... but before people start throwing stones at me.. let me explain why....

Firstly, I do think that the handicap should have priority in using the toilets but I definitely do not think that the handicap toilet should be exclusively for the handicapped. In Jusco Tebrau in JB, the handicap toilet is also meant for the pregnant ladies, those with small children etc... the fact that the doors can't shut... well that is another story... but basically the idea is a special toilet for those in need and not just for the wheelchair bound.

Imagine you are a mother with a stroller ... hmmm that issue again... wanting to use the toilet, well she can't jolly well fit into the regular toilet cubicles can she and she can't leave the baby outside either... leave the stroller and bring the baby in? hmmm... what an acrobatic balancing act! So wat options does she have but to use the handicap toilet? And to think of it, I have never seen a mother pushing a stroller with her baby to our toilets... they must all be using the handicap toilets hah?

The other scenario would be when you have small kids with you... again you can't leave them outside and they can't fit into the cubicle esp those extra tiny ones where you can't close the door without having to squeeze by the side of the toilet bowl... who designed those I truly wonder?

So as you can see... other people need that handicap toilet... not just those wheelchair bound ones.

And please can the cleaners leave the handicap toilet doors unlocked... whoever who thought that was a good idea as a way of ensuring that the toilets are only used by the handicap must be seriously demented... I mean why would you want the handicap or anyone else going to a completely different location to get the key first before they can use the toilet... haven't they heard of the term 'high tide'? And I seriously do not think they are doing the handicapped a service... even if they had intended to..

Leave the baby at home?

2008-08-08T14:31:00.003+08:00

What a funny remark as a solution to the conflicts strollers have been having with people's feet... leave the baby at home when parents go out shopping, dining or just out in general? And isn't it funny that those remarks are made by those who are not married and are without children... lets see whether they will leave their babies at home when the time comes..

The newspaper article in the Sunday Times just showed how egocentric Singaporeans are in managing issues. The solution should be something that benefits me and me alone. So they say keep the baby at home, dun take the bus... dun the parents have more sense than to take other forms of transport... fold the stroller...

And I wonder dun they realise that not everyone could afford to take taxis everywhere... that the bus is a public option for many... in the UK, there is even a stroller parking lot on the bus and people make way when a parent comes on board with the stroller.

If people complain that strollers are blocking the way on the bus and in the restaurants, shouldn't we think of solutions that would benefit all... no, keeping the baby at home is not the solution... some solutions that would help could be to have family tables arranged at restaurants that would leave more room for people to walk along the aisle... to have stoller lots on buses...

And the issue of stroller conflicts with feet, I dun think the issue is with stroller or trolleys for that matter, cos there are lots of fights between trolleys and feet too... but the issue is with Singaporeans tendency to not give way to others... they just need to be in front... on the roads, on the pavements, in the malls ... there is no difference.. and even if you apologise cos of a genuine mistake, they glare at you like you had owed them a living... its rather bizarre... its truly nothing to do with strollers per se...

Come on the world is big enough to accommodate all of us for now, just move a little, it won't harm you, trust me.

What does it matter to you?

2008-07-28T10:30:00.007+08:00

Its a birthmark....

For the upteenth time I find myself having to quote that ....

And the interesting thing is that I never found myself having to say that... not even once... on my trip to UK and Paris...

Why is it that in Singapore and even more so in Malaysia, I find myself having to explain why my baby has a bluish patch on her right cheek repeatedly with a gentle "please dun ask me anymore question" smile ... in Malaysia, they are not even just satisfied with that and would even ask me strange questions about my labour... to test out their old wives theories as to how the patch could possibly have come about... and me with such strong boundary issues have to face such personal questions

Maybe I should instead be saying..."It's a haemangioma, otherwise known as a strawberry mark" and go into a full blown explanation that it is a -

Red or purple-coloured vascular skin markings that develop shortly after birth. most are usually painless and benign. Some lesions (cavernous haemangiomas) will disappear or become harder to see as the child approaches school age.

That should shut them up!

My mother just has her belief that the mark was caused by me going out, whilst pregnant, when there was an eclipse of the sun .. how strange... and stranger yet that she actually believes it when even my grandma debunks it.

I find myself not really caring anymore about the patch.. it used to be a concern and I even contemplated laser treatment etc but now I looked at it and dun see anything wrong with it... Like Penelope got used to her nose... well the patch is a part of Daniah and I think it would be strange if she did not have it anymore. My father still is though and would keep asking when the patch would go away reasoning that its a big concern cos she is a girl. You mean it won't matter if it is a boy? My only thoughts are if a guy were to reject my girl cos of a patch on her face, he is not worth her time and definitely does not deserve this princess!

Daniah turns 7 months yesterday and she has yet to sit fully unsupported and crawl... I think it does not help that she has 2 elder sisters who developed so fast and became a point of comparison. Not that it matters once she finds her legs... she will then become another one that we have to chase after and look out for.... for now, ooohhhh my aching arms and back!!!

Feeling like a maid?

2008-07-26T09:33:00.003+08:00

I've heard this comments occasionally from my girl friends whenever they have to do more than the usual household chores "I feel like the maid" ... and it now sets me wondering at how far the women in Singapore have moved on ...

The league of our mothers and grandmothers would never have made such a comment. It was unthought of... it would not have crossed their minds that when they are doing the household chores that they were being treated like a maid or even feel like one. It was their duty, their responsibility ... and there was no two ways about it... they get it done cos who else would? Definitely not the men in the household. At most they get the help of their daughters when the later are of age...

Today though... its a different story.... how much we have moved on to feel that household work need not necessarily be our responsibility ... to feel that it could or should be someone else's ....

Think about it... when women breastfeed... it is tiring, it is taxing, it takes a lot from the women but it would not have crossed their mind to quip "I feel like the maid" when they are actually doing it.. it is their duty, their responsibility, their role to do...

but when it comes to household chores ... hmmm... it becomes a different thing... how is it that we have somehow move to start feeling that when we are doing household chores that this should be the responsibility of the maids and not ours? I think it impacts more on those of us who works full-time...I dun mind having to do household chores... i mean not that i completely dun mind... of course I would prefer not having to do it... but hey if I have to do it, I got to do it....

I start feeling upset tho when I feel that somehow the other members in the house disregard the fact that I am also working full-time and yet having to do the household chores. When things are thrown on the floor or left lying aroound with an expectation that I will pick it up. Sometimes I also feel upset that it is being taken for granted that I will do it so no one else feels compelled to do it... and thats when the thought "I feel like the maid" comes to mind... cos dun we get into that mindset/ tendency that when we have the maid we no longer have to do the household chores and leave it completely to the maid?

I do wonder how the maids feel when this happens to them... not too far different from us I suspect...

Maid Blues... Again x 4!!

2008-07-22T17:31:00.002+08:00

Oh when would this ever end... and here I thought we would be getting a maid by tonight and that my house can finally be clean again by tomorrow afternoon... only to get a call from the agency that the maid has failed her exams... 3 x in a row and would now be nicely going home to Indonesia... what was this? a short getaway trip for her???!!!

And the search is on.... again... and the wait is on... again....

so back we would be hauling ourselves to the agency once more ... to make our selection... once more... and subject ourselves to the mercy of waiting ...

London Bridge is falling down

2008-07-22T11:01:00.005+08:00

The girls in Bath

We finally made it to UK and Paris for our longest trip ever... and I know there were definitely moments there when dear hubby was ready to just kill Tasnym... cos I felt that way too... Somehow she got into the mode of wanting to be carried everywhere, refusing to move from the pavement she is sitting on until no one else except her papa returns to carry her. Daniah too became an absolute koala refusing anyone else when her mama is around... my arms became muscular from the trip!! Colleagues said that I am now half of me from before the trip! Yeah and slowly but surely gaining back that half!!

I would say that it was a good trip... I loved the natural history museum - to get to see the dinosaur fossils and the bones of the blue whale... wow!! Stonehenge and the changing of guards at the Buckingham Palace was a let down... maybe too much hype than anything else.

Having both sets of grandparents around was a good thing - as extra sets of hands to carry things and manage the girls.. The long flight was a killer and the earlier road trips drove us simply nuts as we just kept getting lost - finding ourselves going the wrong way on the map... and to think that SOME PEOPLE said there is no need for the GPS thingy in UK.. yeah right... the same people who ended up putting themselves on fire cos of stress... just looking for the hotels took more than an hour... as we went round and round... We even ran out of clothes to wear cos some people insisted that I should not be bringing so much clothes, the same people who ended up shopping for clothes cos he did not have anything to wear... hmmmph!

Not forgetting the saga that we went thru when I left my phone behind in Kensington Park. The whole of Singapore was trying to get hold of us in UK and that was on our first day there. I am amazed at my good fortune that the guy who happened to walk past my phone when it coincidentally rang (cos a friend in UK was calling me) picked the call and agreed to return the phone to me! There began the whole saga of my entire family trying their darn hardest to get hold of us after my friend contacted my friends in Singapore to get in touch with me in a very circuitous way..... And I did get my phone back from a very nice person by the name of Mehdi who works in Royal Albert Hall.. Thank you so much!!

And to think that I also left my camera behind in a toilet in Edinburgh and also got it back! I am becoming so forgetful and absent minded!!

My house is till a mess, the suitcase is still lying in the hall ... and we are still dealing with the jet lag... but the memories were worth it... how do you grapple with looking at a building that is 800 years old? Or that a room you are in saw the birth of a King 500 years ago? Living in a bed and Breakfast was an experience... but we definitely could do without all those stairs ... to think we were staying in the attic!

Feeding ducks and swans at Windermere, Lake District

Paris was not as nice an experience... the snobbery of the people, the filth of the metro... it just spoils the entire experience when the places we were at were so nice.. where else can you meet Indian guys selling crepe (that's French Prata!!) speaking French with the snobbery attached!! and the fact that someone attempted to pickpocket my dad! The guy we met at the tourist information counter at the airport was so arrogant... he should definitely not be working there... he told me off for mispronouncing Les Halles..."Its Lee-Al, its French" with a dismissive snort... huh! like I would know how it should be pronounced and like as if he can pronounce Bedok!

Painted faces in Disney. We paid $25 each and they wanted it wiped off after an hour!Never forgetting her trademark pose!!

Its been a long time...

2008-07-21T18:54:00.002+08:00

It has been some time since I last blogged... and there has been lots of ups and downs in between... for one the maid left and now I'm waiting for the next maid to come tomorrow... more details some other time...

daniah is now 6 months old and has turned into an absolute koala...

tasnym is well just tasnym... with aspirations of being a princess now

and sarah ... has turned into someone who is trying to discipline her younger sister, like that will happen!

Sarah: Say sorry... say sorry properly... I am still waiting... dun nyeh nyeh nyeh... say it properly.. wat must you say if you want the biscuit? ...

2008-04-11T10:03:00.003+08:00

An acquaintance recently spoke about how she was frustrated that her maid was not completing all her given tasks. This was on top of the child caring, cooking etc that she needed to do. It struck me how much we are asking from the domestic help we recruit to care for our homes. There has been many occasions too when I had seen domestic helpers made to carry all the groceries and carry the child while the parents walk empty handed at the malls... and I wonder... do these people think that they have gotten a robot or worse yet do they think that the amount of money they pay these ladies' salarys have given them full authority to use every single inch of the maid's energy? Or whatever they can squeeze out of it... Even when I carry my baby, I try to carry some grocery bags... how do these people have the heart to watch the maid struggling and not feel anything.. to think that many of these maids are so small in size.

I think that the experience I had dealing with not so good maids and the time I had to manage the household myself made me more appreciative of my current help. To care for 3 kids, you got to bathe them, cook for them, feed them, play, clean chase after them, bring them to the toilet multiple times in a day, change diapers etc... I could not even think of cleaning the house, washing dishes is as far as I can go... not to even think that most times I did not even have time for myself, to bathe or even have a breather... so why is it that when we employ domestic help that the expectation is there for them to do all this? Or get angry when they are unable to fulfill it? I suspect that all those ladies who complain somehow have never held the short end of the stick before... I even try to tell my maid that she does not need to do some chores so often and the thing is she is not even caring for my kids full-time only helping my mum to do so.

My current helper spoke abt how when she was at her previous employer, she was allowed only one meal a day - a pack of maggi without any additions like veggie or meat. I was baffled and wondered why people would do that.. to expect the maid to work and yet not give them food? I have also read of people who begrudge or complain about the maid taking that extra scoop of peanut butter..

This people do not deserve a helper, they deserve to be treated the same way they treat their helper..

Put Plaster

2008-04-10T10:16:00.003+08:00

Tasnym has a serious fetish with plasters - those that you place over a wound... only for her there need not be a wound.. as long as she got hurt, a piece of plaster need to be pasted over it to make her feel better and the tears go away. It has gotten to the point where we need to hide the plasters in the house or she would have them all pasted on her body... we can easily wipe out the nearest Watson's supply! Don't matter whether they have cartoon prints on them or simply brown plain drab ones - it is still a plaster!

Not just for her, she also gets very excited when others need a plaster and would have a huge grin on her face when you get a wound cos for her you can then "put plaster!!"

Sistas..

2008-04-08T10:34:00.003+08:00

We were worried about Tasnym and how she would take to the baby but somehow her love for babies in general carried through to her baby sister. She has always taken a liking for babies, including toy ones and its no exception to Daniah. Wanting to hug, carry and kiss the baby at all times... to Daniah's dismay and apprehension of all those around... as Tasnym is sooo rough!

There was once I caught her carrying the baby and dropping the baby back to the bed when I turned to watch what she was up to... my heart practically stopped!

The 3 sistas

It is interesting how the 2 older ones fight so much and yet think of each other as well. Tasnym would never fail to ask for her sister when the latter is not around. And though she may snatch things from Sarah and refuse to share, she would remember to ask for the extra sweets and snacks from others on behalf of Sarah if she were to be given any. Sarah too does the same.

I just hope that the closeness they share now is carried through .. to be partners in support and love.

Latest news update!

2008-04-01T11:37:00.002+08:00

Models Inc

2008-04-01T11:22:00.006+08:00

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Smile baby smile

2008-04-01T10:55:00.002+08:00

The heart stopping smile that makes all the troubles and pains disappear!!

Now if only it can help me lose weight! Mwa haha.. I just have no discipline sigh...

How time flies...

2008-03-20T11:42:00.002+08:00

To think that today should be the first day for me at work... I've extended my leave for another month Thank God and is now finally able to enjoy it... with a maid at home...

Dun even know where the past 3 months had gone to ... wat with the washings and cleaning in between... I'm gonna make sure I make full use of the next one month to truly relax...

My visions of losing weight has been left to just that... a vision!! I have not lost any!! Sigh... am I to resign myself to a belly and a weight that just won't go below the 70 marker? Thank God my feet did not grow again this time... small blessings : )

Already scheduled one massage next week... a facial should be next ...

Ties that Bind

2008-03-11T09:50:00.002+08:00

Family from far afield - many I have not seen in years, could recognise but without recognition of who they are - came down to Johor yesterday, in respect to a person who passed away on the night of 9th Mar 08. Tokki, my grandfather, had been ill for about 3 years now. I remembered his first admission to the hospital, 2 months after Tasnym's birth... remembered it so well as it was the first time that I drove into JB and the day when I saw Tasnym's first full smile.

It was a surprise when we received that late night phone call on Sunday night.. yes he has been ill but he was doing ok... to hear that he had passed on. It was an easy passing, after having dinner of bread which he promptly threw up, he got my grandma to rub his back. He leaned back against her hand and he left the world. I could only imagine how my grandma felt or went thru at that moment when she realised that he was no longer around. The panic as she called one son after another to rush over and check on him. Children and grandchildren came rushing down through the night. Those further afield coming back way after the funeral was over. It surprised me that some had driven all the way, 4 hours others 8 hours down, only to drive back up on the same day after a brief visit.

It also tells me much about the ties that bind are so fragile if they are not kept bounded. Many faces I saw that day have become merely faces of people I knew... not a word passed our lips to acknowledge each other apart from a nod or maybe even just a passing glance. We were so much closer when we were younger but the distance that separate us have become not only physical but spiritual as well. I recall days of my childhood when the whole house was filled each Hari Raya or events. Everyone lived in JB and were close enought o maintain close ties... but soon each got married, spread out their wings and took flight to various parts of Malaysia. And what was left was a huge home with just my grandparents living in it.

A huge home with a room each for the siblings was soon left vacated one room after another becomng an empty nest... my grandparents converted the rooms to rent out and carved out just a small studio apartment for themselves in that huge home and soon the house that I used to know was no longer there... just a semblance of its former glory.... of the laughter and voices that used to fill it...They even moved to another smaller home when Tokki could no longer cope with the stairs. It was just the 2 of them in that house and I suppose it was appropriate that in death it was just her he was with after the years that it had been just the 2 of them together. It was telling when I asked her where she was moving to since she was now alone, that her response was to be where he was now. At the end of the day... the ties that truly bind is the love that one shares with another... and i hope that mine will be the same.

Days into Nights... Zzzz

2008-03-06T09:19:00.002+08:00

I am functioning with very little sleep these past few nights... all cos one toothless babe decided that night has turned to day and would be all active while dozing off in the day!! And even in the day sleep may be an elusive thing for her as she takes 10 minute cat naps... enuf to just drive me crazy!

I've tried swaddling her, placing a towel with my breastmilk on it beside her (supposed to give her the sense that I am close by) and placed drops of lavender oil in het cot... well to give them credit, these methods does work for a time... but not all the time esp when mum aka me is trying to rush off some household chores!!

I was watching Kate n Jon plus 8 and it just amazes me how that lady could manage 8 kids all alone... I can't even handle the chores and 1 baby, not to mention 3 kids when everyone decided that they've got their own stuff to do and well the mother will just have to handle all the children on her own cos its her problem anyway... yes everyone is entitled to their own personal space and time to do their thing... except me it seems.

Talking abt chores, I am still maidless after all these time and I am getting super fed-up... that sometimes clothes are on the floor, possibly cos magically it would fly to the laundry basket on its own, that the cat litter somehow is always not changed (maybe someone was waiting for the cat to flush), the laundry basket can pile up high and the waste basket could overflow... all waiting for moi

gosh for the length of time that I have been waiting, the maid had better be good!

I have been using my time anyway to start losing weight but I think I overdid it somewat as I started having dizzy spels and almost collapsed one day. I was cutting down my calories too drastically... not realising that it would have very negative impacts on me ... and I've been exercising! which is really good esp when u see the kilos on the machine pulling back a little each time ... I have a vision - me beating the 60 kg mark! would I reach there? Stay tuned!

Someday my Prince will come...

2008-02-15T12:42:00.004+08:00

Sarah: Mama, today Hidir asked me to be his girlfriend and he wanted to sit beside me. (To the dismay of her dad and amusement of her mum)
Mama: So wat did you tell him?
Sarah: I said NO!

Oh gosh, I thought that this conversation was way too early by 14 years!! Are kids getting too exposed or wat that such conversations are taking place in kindergartens!! Well now she says No but not too sure what her answers may be in years to come and one thing for sure, she may not even be telling us that such conversations are taking place!

Anyway, one thing for sure, she has her heart set on being a princess so we just have to make sure that a true prince does come along... Though I'm not too worried for her cos she is one who knows what she wants... far different from Tasnym who wants what the other person wants and would drop what she has with her ... to the point of spitting food out... if she sees others with something else ... though not necessarily better!!

I want to be a Princess!

2008-02-01T08:31:00.000+08:00

Sarah : Papa, When I grow up, I want to be a princess

Papa : But Sarah, I am not a King then how are you going to be a princess?

Sarah : Never mind lah, I can wear the dress and crown and then I will become a Princess!

If only it could be that easy!! But when the opportunity came for her at a recent photo studio to put on what she termed as princess dresses, she jumped at it and became a princess for the day!

But princess or no princess, one thing is for certain and that is this girl has creative juices running in her...

She created this collage from torn paper to form the image of a girl...

Mama : And Tasnym what would you want to be?

Tasnym : Mickey Mouse!

What u doing Mama?

2008-01-29T13:40:00.000+08:00

When Sarah first came to know of breastfeeding in those days of Tasnym, she had once lifted up her t-shirt to offer her chest to breastfeed when Tasnym cried!!

She must have forgotten those breastfeeding days cos this time round at the hospital when ut was time to feed Daniah, she asked me... "where's the container to make milk?" esp since she had offered her services to help make milk for the baby when the baby arrives to the granny's amusement... like the granny said "you dun even know how to make your own milk!"

Tasnym was more horrified at the process "Dun mama dun! Dun let the baby eat your tummy!!"

Confine Me ...NOT!!

2008-01-24T14:11:00.000+08:00

What's the idea behind the one month confinement anyway? Well the initial few days I understand... with the pain, the aches and the sores... you wouldn't want to get out of the house anyway. I can even understand why baby should be kept more at home as their vulnerable systems are being protected from the ravages of pollution outside... not that we live in a bubble and can protect her that much anyway from being at home.

Thank God my family does not enfore the confinement ideology on me... probably realising the futility of doing such... I would have gone stark raving MAD!! Imagine staring at walls all day as you deal with a screaming infant... someone tell me again the rationale behind the confinement...

I think it has got to do with allowing your body to rest and probably protect you from germs outside too... just dun get it why people enforce it soooo strictly... a walk in the park or thru the shopping centre during off peak hours is not gonna harm anyone... cos if it does, whole nations of westerners would have been wiped out already!!

It's No walk in the Park

2008-01-15T13:36:00.000+08:00

Who says breastfeeding was easy? And how come no one warned me that it was not before I had my first child? To spare me all the stress.. All I had was visions of me feeding a baby at my breast thinking that well since it was biological, it must be easy.... says who??

You deal with sore nipples, sore backs, sore shoulders, leaking breasts and an eternity of time with baby at the breast... and everyone else just wanting to hand over the baby to you at the slightest whimper or cry... regardless of the fact that you just finished feeding ... this old ladies have the theory that if the baby suckle at their finger, the baby must be hungry... hmmm... haven't they heard of the reflex psysiological response in babies to just do that, whether they are hungry or not? And comments like "You didn't give enough milk?", "You should give bottled milk then they will feel more full" " You should eat more, then you will have more milk" all those does not help.

I dun think I would have given up total breastfeeding so easily for Sarah or been so stressed out if I had been well prepared... I even started feeling like a failure as a mother as I just could not have enough milk. Well one thing I've learnt is that its ok if you can't, its ok to supplement... yes it might reduce your supply and yes breast milk is the best but I definitely think that its better to keep your sanity and not end up bashing up the baby cos you had a nervous breakdown from dealing with the rigours of feeding!

Now with Daniah, I'm better prepared and better able to know what I need to do... but all the sore stuff.. its still there!

Hey Charlie!

2008-01-02T19:26:00.000+08:00

Yes the third angel is out... to complete the set and complete it is.

We did not even reach the 31st Dec... I was kind of having the feeling by the 20th that it was going to be much faster and when the doc confirmed that yup the baby is waaay down south, the wait began and we waited and waited and waited but she didn't turn up even after I turned into a true penguin!! Izad was ever so worried that he may not make it in time to the hospital considering how low the baby was sitting but waited she did.

We went for another appt on the 27th Dec and was so surprised to learn that I was already 4-5 cm dilated!! I wasn't even having any pains yet and completely had no show or any signs yet..
But by the time I reached the delivery ward, the pains began and I calmly asked for an epidural despite the doc's insistence that it was not going to take long... like I cared to know! And boy, I dun regret my decision as the pains began in earnest later and I could feel the intense pain despite the epidural... as my hubby so kindly pointed out as he watched Harry Potter... I would not have been so quiet otherwise... I am NOT a screamer.. thank you very much!

Well, the nurse kept checking in on me asking whether I felt any urge to push and seriously I didn't... that epidural must be working way to well.. the nurse got worried when the baby's heartbeat kept disappearing on the monitor and called the doc which luckily she did way in time... as the baby's head was actually already out!! And we didn't even realise it! So after 4.5 hours labour, which should have been much shorter, Daniah Ariesah was born...

A week later, I can't even finish this blog entry... trying to manage the Charlie's Angels and freelancing as a cow on the side... the joys of motherhood? more like the greatest challenge!

Maids and Brats

2007-12-24T13:19:00.000+08:00

Well we are now again maidless... for the next few weeks at least after having sent the last maid back to the agent at her insistence. She was down to even getting her husband to call us telling us that her mother AND mother in law are sick as a means of getting her way home.

So back to an unconducive home envt we are going to have till the new one arrives!

And yes brats... I had a disturbing encounter with one of my hubby's nephew last weekend... a boy of only 5 years... he was playing at the slides, hanging around on the slide rather than going straight down when another boy and my daughter came sliding down... the inevitable happened and he got pushed down as well.. the thing that shocked me was him shouting at me "You stupid mother, you can see I am on the slide and yet you asked them to come down!" That really stunned me for a moment to be coming out from a 5 year old... honestly I dun remember having encountered such a thing before and this from someone who has encountered many children from various dysfunctional backgrounds.

I wondered where he had learnt or seen such a behavior for children act what they see... I can only imagine him having seen some adults in his life behaving that way... children do what they see... this was also the same boy who some months ago, snatched the newspapers away from me as I was reading ... not just once but several times despite me admonishing him each time... and I am not exactly someone whom he sees regularly for him to be behaving in such a boorish manner. Oh goodness... if he does not get some restructuring now, I wonder what other things I am going to encounter from him in years to come.

Doing my Part for Charity

2007-12-21T17:33:00.000+08:00

The girls entertaining old folks at a Home...

Oh when oh when..

2007-12-21T14:08:00.000+08:00

The last two times, we visited the gynae, I told her clearly that should I not give birth in the Christmas week, I would like to be induced on the 31st Dec.. No way was I going to go into 2008 pregnant! But now... I am not so certain I would reach that date... there seem to be signs of impending labour...

I am in my 37th week... funny thing though this time, I have yet to experience any braxton hicks.. what I do have is low back ache, pain in the pelvis, frequent trips to the loo, not only to pee but to clear the bowels, an increase in discharge that I wonder whether I've lost my plug and a feeling... a definite instinct that baby is gonna be out soon..

the pain in the pelvis tho is getting more frequent and I'm wondering whether I'm already having contractions without realising as I deal with pain in my back and sides... Oh well.. baby just get out soon ok?

I do wonder how she will look... like Tasnym or Sarah... would she have Tasnym's cheeky smile or Sarah's sweet one... cheeky or not, just dun bring along the fiery personality!

My creative genius

2007-12-21T10:25:00.001+08:00

She made this all by herself!! An elephant handpuppet ...

The Rollerblader

2007-12-21T10:04:00.000+08:00

Check out her moves... at 2.5 years, Tasnym is the blader...

Maid woes

2007-12-08T12:38:00.000+08:00

Seems like it aint over yet... been noticing that my new maid's work seems a bit off the mark.. kitchen towel placed with the bath towels, my underwear placed with my hubby's... marks of a person who appeared to be lost in space or thought... my mum said that the maid had confided that she is very frightened of me... and wat is it that i have done to her to cause so much fear???!!

Today she shared the same with me when I asked her abt her work... said that the fear of me had been inculcated even at the time when she was at the training centre as she had been told that I was very fierce.. and she quoted incidences when i corrected her but the thing was that the corrections were done nicely and yet she still could not take it??? haizzz!

and she revealed that actually her hubby had not approved of her coming to work in Singapore and has demanded for her to return... Apparently his mum has sold of their house to fund him and his brothers to work in Malaysia... and the money would also be used to pay off her maid loan as well.. asked her whether he had approved when she went to the training centre and she said no... and she still proceeded??!!

the only saving grace is that she is willing to wait till i get a new maid before leaving.

to think that i thought that i had finally gotten a good maid... do they think that we are made of money to fund repeated changes in maids and having to go thru the training cycles over and over? I feel so cynical and jaded... wishing that i dun have to take a maid anymore but ... do i have much of a choice??

so back to the agency we go to choose yet another one... and hopefully the last one of the lot...

At what price?

2007-12-01T10:29:00.000+08:00

In Singapore we are lucky that going to work generally means us having to take some form of transport and making at most a one hour journey to the place of employment. For many others, esp in our neighbouring countries, this is not so... work may mean leaving behind your family, loved ones, children to travel far beyond just to earn a measly paycheck, live in a world that is worlds apart culturally from your own and possibly even be taken advantaged off, at worst be abused.

How many of us really stopped to think abt the plight of our fellow human friends who come from afar to work in Singapore, some under the same roof as us to earn a living... Its easy to complain abt them, the difficulties we face in managing them that sometimes we forget what they had to endure to be here... sometimes they too forget what made them come here in the first place causing them to behave in ways that may be incomprehensible to most of us.

My maid shared of how they are treated in the training centres before coming here to work.. they are made to eat cabbage soup with rice daily, scolded in front of others leaving very little dignity and basically not given much rights.. she shared of how their money is taken away from them... her husband tried to get it back but to no avail.. she shared of how the money I had given my ex-maid had already been taken away by the agency, possibly not to be returned... my heart ached at that... it was money that others gave her for Hari Raya and my hard earned money meant for her children... not for the agency! They are not allowed to practise their religion at the centres, prevented from praying ... why?

There had been other stories of other training centres treating maids brutally... how much is the MOM doing to curb such abuse and to ensure that the ladies who come here are protected? How much are these centres regulated to ensure that these women's rights are upheld? I have just heard of a case of some women who were brought in to work here only to be forced into prostitution...

At what price... to work here? They came for hope of a better life for their families... to be able to send back cash to fund education, medical needs or even simply a proper roof over their heads... at what price?

To think that these injustices may be perpetuated further in the homes they work in... some are lucky to get good employers who treats them well... others.... well...

Why take on a maid who is different from you religiously if you cannot accept the religious practices of that person? Why would you want to stop the maids from going to church, pray 5 times a day or fast? Shouldn't you appreciate it that they have a belief and faith in a higher being... to me it marks the character of a person, that they have beholden themselves to a higher being and therefore more cautious of committing sins... I am more cautious of people who have no faith in God.

Why would you want maids to be deprived of food? Isn't that a contradiction to the expectations you have of the maid in the first place... ie to work... and yet you deprive the maid of the things that enable them to do proper work? Is that income of $350 so much that you have to skimp on the food they eat?

To emotionally, psychologically and physically abuse them... why? Does that make you feel that you are a better person? I know that sometimes its hard to curb your anger especially when the maid behaves in ways that truly boils your blood... hey I've been there...and I know thats the reason why I had to also let my old maid go before she truly pushes me over the edge..

At what price... to work here? to earn a simple living ...

She speaks Malaysian??

2007-11-29T18:41:00.001+08:00

Well I sent my old maid to the agent without much funfare or fuss... she was very calm and collected I would say... perhaps already prepared for the possibility... for someone who cries so much and usually for no reason, as what she claims, she barely teared that day.. she did not even ask forgiveness from me... just said thank you at the end. well, she must be feeling relief too in getting away from me as much as I am getting away from her.

Got the new maid the next day and she shocked me the first time she opened her mouth... sounding like a Malaysian!! With her takpe, takde and all the lahs, she can easily pass off as a Malaysian instead of Indonesian. On a personal level, I like her but whether she passes the mark as a maid, remains to be seen...

So far she showed a good learning attitude and I dun feel irritated by her... yet... Even the girls seemed to have taken to her.. Sarah told her dad that she likes this bibik and does not like the previous one...

Even my hub was saying that he feels a difference with her as compared to our previous one, for whom there was a distance somewhat a barrier in our interactions... language aside... I just didn't have that level of comfort with her ... I felt that she was guarded and non-responsive.. I've told her many a times that I felt like I was talking to a wall when I talk to her.. We did not click.. Oh well.. I do wish her the best..

I was in tears!

2007-11-21T10:47:00.000+08:00

She made me soooo proud... my shy baby girl went up on stage with a full smile on her face and did her dance!

Child Deaths

2007-11-19T21:51:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, my cousin called to share that her neighbour's 3 year old child had fallen off the balcony to her death... I can only imagine the pain of a mother's grief to lose a child... so suddenly at that.. this is the third of such deaths in 2 months and I wonder why parents still persist in leaving their children unsupervised.

I wondered why parents still persist in leaving their children alone at home despite all this news... I can only imagine the pain of those parents as they battled with the 'what ifs', the guilt...

The two previous deaths had both children completely alone at home. The child who recently died last weekend was left unsupervised for a few minutes as her parent went to change in the room... and she died as she fell off the balcony...wat made other parents think that their children will be safe if left for a few hours? Why do parents still do this? ... cos of the belief that nothing will happen to their child.. the "it won't happen to me/my child" syndrome..

Of late, there were other child deaths/accidents be it here or across the causeway and all of them bore similar characteristics... that children, not yet of age to ever be able to protect themselves adequately being left completely alone at home. The image of an 18 mth old child cringing with her face covered with her hands... frozen in death... is an image too hard to bear.. as she had been left alone with her 4 year old siblings and the house caught fire...

How many more of such deaths do we have to hear about?

Clingy Tasnym

2007-11-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

These past few days has been trying... no no no, its not the maid thos that lady takes the ultimate cake of being very trying...

Its Tasnym... we noted her being extremely sensitive, clingy and just difficult to deal with these past few days... Speculation is rife that its cos of the impending baby's arrival... I think so too as she is soo clingy to me and crying at the slightest admonishments. Oh gosh and I've got like 2 months more to go... even Sarah is getting the bane of Tasnym's tantrums which are so irrational and unpredictable.. not that 2 year olds are not very high on both indices already! Yesterday, I just told Izad that I wondered how many gallons of tears Tasnym has cried out just yesterday alone... and to think that her name means water that flows!

More Maid Blues

2007-11-10T11:12:00.001+08:00

Finally! I got to choose a replacement... This one better be better... I warned the agent that I am going to hunt him down should this one screw up too since he recommended this one so much... hmmm... why am I putting so much faith in his choice considering he recommended the present one??!!

In the meanwhile, I am still sucking my own blood and eating my own heart out with the antics of my maid... sigh...

3 days ago, cos I asked her to take out some Dettol cleaner, she nicely revealed that she had finished up my Dettol soap cos there was only a little bit left... Honestly I dun even remember having that Dettol soap but the point that I questioned was how she could use my stuff without asking my permission first! And she kept justifying by saying that there was only a little left... and that made it ok??

Soon after that, I realised that she was using my baby's towel to clean the girls's toys... oh my God!! Her excuse... she forgot... the towel is in your hands and you can forget?

2 days ago, I pointed out to her that the bathtub was dirty with black scum on the rims. Her excuse... its not scum, its the black glue that holds the bathtub to the wall.. and silly her, she tried to pull at the glue only to discover that the silicone glue is WHITE and black scum was falling off the glue...

Last night, I pointed out to her that the tiles around the sink is dirty... this time she tried to tell me that the cement grout is naturally black... I told her to get the cleaner and I cleaned the tiles in front of her to prove to her that the colour is WHITE!!

And my girls seriously reject her... no holding hands, no carrying... people are telling me that children are the best indicators that something is not quite right when they reject that person... My mum told me that the maid was heard asking the girls "You like it is it that I get scolded by nenek?" And yet again she was caught sleeping, this time squatting by the side of the back toilet.

My hubby and I believe that while in Indon, this maid was actually leading an easy tai-tai life which makes it hard for her to adjust to the rigours of work-life. To think that she blows on her hand to cool it down after she finished cutting some chillies!! Hmm.. hello!! I dun enter the kitchen that much and I am a much better cook and not so spoiled as to react to some chilli sting!!

Oh God... please help and guide me in passing through this challenge... for I do not know how much more I can take... and please God... let the next one be good...

Maid Blues

2007-10-31T18:25:00.000+08:00

The agency just told me that I've got to wait a while more as the agency in Indonesia has just reopened after Lebaran and are now in the midst of recruiting new maids... Oh goodness me to wait for yet 2 more weeks before new biodatas come in and then another month more as they process the applications...

I wonder whether I could wait... this maid of mine is simply driving me nuts and as my hubby said, simply getting on my nerves. I dun think thst it is in anyway good for me or for her to be scolded everyday, I dun want to scold but the things she does just simply irks me... Well, when you dun like a person, everything they do just is wrong someway or other..

Now she hovers around the girls, in our presence at least, that my hubby calls her a housefly... But the thing that truly pisses me off is the hypocrisy! When my mum was praying and she was suppose to mind the girls for that 5-10 mins, Sarah slipped and hit her mouth against the floor leading to a bleeding lip... my mum said that she rushed out to find the maid sitting there just looking as Sarah got up crying. The maid did not even move as my mum tended to the girl until she was told to get a towel. Why act in front of us that you care when actually you simply don't!

The other funny thing was her allowing Sarah to draw with a magic ink all over both her arms and she did not do anything! She told me she didn't stop Sarah as she didn't want the girl to cry but Sarah told me that she just stood there and laugh as Sarah was doing it. I believe Sarah as this maid has the weird behavior of laughing at inappropriate moments.

She made such a big show the other night of bringing in a botol kueh to top it up just cause my hubby took one muruku from the bottle, even though the bottle was still so full. When I went to the main table, there were 2 other bottles that were almost completely empty! You mean you want to top up a bottle that is still full but not those that were empty?? Or is this all just a show?

As you can tell, I am royally pissed with her... it has gotten to the point where I dun even want her to touch my children... not good I know... so how am I supposed to last another 2 months of waiting for another maid???

My beautiful gals...

2007-10-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

Aw....Aren't they just so sweet?

Lebaran 2007

2007-10-18T18:01:00.000+08:00

Girls in their second day Lebaran outfits... Sooo pretty...

This year's lebaran had a tone of melancholy to it. I had thought that for the first time, I would not be seeing my grandparents but luckily they returned to JB in time for lebaran so I met them after all....

However, the meeting with my grandparents this time was at the hospital as my grandad was hospitalised... yet again. It has been said that his heart is functioning at only 40% of its capacity. Somehow, it may be his last lebaran yet...

Both girls really enjoyed lebaran this year as both understood it better... Sarah even said that she was fasting whenever she did not want to eat what was given to her!!

But the frustrations had also been in dealing with my new maid... cos she is driving me up the wall... she clearly lacks initiative in doing work and has been caught sleeping so many times but the more pressing issue would be her lack of concern for the girls' safety. It amazes me how she can just watch Tasnym run onto the road while she stands calmly by the side. Now that it has been addressed with her, she has gone way over the other side, hovering all the time and simply driving the girls and me nuts. Her attempts tho seems more like driven by desperation to keep the job rather than any genuine concern on her part for the girls. Funny thing is that 2 days ago, my mum caught her dead asleep on the floor snoring away when she was supposed to be supervising Sarah at play.

We have gone to the agent but unfortunately there are no available ones at present due to the festive period...

Even our ketupat didn't turn out too well... sigh...

Almost into the 7 months now...

2007-10-18T17:54:00.000+08:00

I lost 2 kg since I fasted a whole month in Ramadan but my gynae has predicted that the weight will be back very soon. With all the food I ate during lebaran, I would not be surprised! Baby though has gained good weight and as at last week was weighing 800 gm.

My friends were saying that my stomach is very much more compact as compared to my previous pregnancies.

This is my tummy for records... hee

Tasnym has a boyfriend!!

2007-10-01T11:21:00.000+08:00

We trooped down to the school a few weeks back for the Parent teacher meeting - Tasnym's first. I was so proud to know that Sarah was doing very well in schoola nd that she was the most advanced in her class. She was described to be a very focused person, determined to complete her tasks that the teachers had to prepare her should it be her turn to be with the teachers.

Tasnym... hmmm... was another story... highly distractable... disrupting other kids, moving from one mat to another... ha ha... why am I not surprised.

Wat was more surprising was that Tasnym has a best friend who is a boy named Adam - hee hee a boyfriend!! They would hold hands together and walk around, what was more funny was that she would dictate what he could play with each day!! Queen control!! She would also not want to queue up with all the other girls and insist on queuing with the boys. Well... sometimes she does say she is a boy.

When I told my mum, she said "No wonder, everytime Tasnym gets off the school bus, she would only say goodbye to Adam and no one else!"

Izad has been trying to 'scold' her for having a boyfriend dictating what she can and cannot do - eg. cannot hold hands with Adam etc or he would put Adam in time out!! But talking to Tasnym is like talking to a multi-channel TV, it switches channel so fast that you dun know what she is talking about or whether she even listens!

Epok-Epok Pengantin

2007-10-01T10:38:00.000+08:00

I was surprised that I could not find the recipe for this tiny epok epok on the web anywhere and had to asked my friend once again for the recipe, having lost the old copy.

So for any of you who wants to make this tiny baby epok epok, here's the recipe:

Ingredients for the insides
200 gm dried prawns/ anchovies - washed, drained and dry blended
6 cloves of garlic
1 big red onion
1 inch ginger
1 small serai
salt to taste

1. Dry blend the garlic, onion, ginger and serai together.
2. Mix the blended items with the blended dried prawns/anchovies.
3. Fry all the items with a little oil till crispy.
4. Put aside.

Ingredients for the skin
300 gm flour
water
1/2 spoon butter

1. Mix the flour and butter.
2. Pour in the water bit by bit to form a dough.
3. Take a small ball of dough and pree it out with your fingers into a very thin piece of flattened circle. Make sure its very thin or your fried epok epok will be chewy rather than crispy.
4. Put the fried dried prawns/anchovies in a small amount in the centre and fold the circle into two. Pinch the sides into waves.
5. Fry in hot oil and voila! Baby epok epok!

Forget the expensive toys...

2007-09-29T10:44:00.000+08:00

Lets just play with the box!!