Lets just play with the box!!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
How do you discipline your child?
I can still remember the time when my dad belted me for making my way home on my own from a grocery shopping trip at a nearby shop. Well, I couldn't find him anywhere and feeling worried that he had left me behind, I went home... not like I went wandering off other places. Sure he was worried... but did he consider why I went home alone? I was only about 9-10 then. I still resent that belting and feel it to be unjustified ... or the times when my parents had hit me with a feather duster for crying as I had not wanted to come home prefering to be with my cousins instead... is that anys urprise considering I am an only child? How much attempts did my parents even make to understand the reasons behind their young child's behavior prefering instead to hit and control? The pain has long been forgotten but the pain of having been treated unjustly still remain.
It has made me decide... along with my other training in parenting that I was not going to hit my children. No canes hanging in my home. And I have no intention of getting one... not even as a means of a threat. Yes, I had the urge to hit my daughters occasionally ...when they get on my nerves... come on it happens to the best of us... but I had restrained myself, at the very most I flicked my fingers on their arms. Even then I felt soooo guilty afterwards and still feel guilty abt it today.
I had a very interesting conversation with some of my colleagues yesterday, all 4 mothers of sons and all having canes hanging somewhere in the house... whether utilised or hanging there as a threat. It is so interesting to me how one of them especially advocated caning as effective and something that she would advocate for children below 7 but sparingly and only with good reason. She even had a special cane that would not leave marks, apparently it is out of stock in the markets already, possibly from all her advertising!!
I thought it was interesting how the older generation often lament about the children of today - how different they are, how protected... that even a cane mark could lead the parents to jail... and how all this are making the children of today simply spoilt and out of control. But one thing, they have completely forgotten is how different the society of today is and what the world is today is worlds apart from the world of yesterday. The media, internet, technology all makes the world and therefore the children highly different. It is too simplistic to say that cos the canes are no longer used that the children are becoming uncontrollable ... there is a whole lot of other confounds to the issue. I would say instead that because the world today is so different that new differnt methods of child maangement has to be employed cos the children are different and not the lack of caning that are making the children different.
The difficulty though is that many of the adults my age now had gone thru a childhood where they were caned and where they had not known any other methods of parenting... and they saw this as not having caused any harm to them ... therefore questions the necessity for change... forgetting instead that since the world has changed, the children have changed and therefore the methods must change.
It was with Tasnym that I truly realise how ineffective these methods were as she would just model us and turn around to flick us back after she is done crying and wailing. And we got worried that she would start hitting others in the same way. So time out is the way to go and it has been very effective. Definitely no canes for us!!
It has made me decide... along with my other training in parenting that I was not going to hit my children. No canes hanging in my home. And I have no intention of getting one... not even as a means of a threat. Yes, I had the urge to hit my daughters occasionally ...when they get on my nerves... come on it happens to the best of us... but I had restrained myself, at the very most I flicked my fingers on their arms. Even then I felt soooo guilty afterwards and still feel guilty abt it today.
I had a very interesting conversation with some of my colleagues yesterday, all 4 mothers of sons and all having canes hanging somewhere in the house... whether utilised or hanging there as a threat. It is so interesting to me how one of them especially advocated caning as effective and something that she would advocate for children below 7 but sparingly and only with good reason. She even had a special cane that would not leave marks, apparently it is out of stock in the markets already, possibly from all her advertising!!
I thought it was interesting how the older generation often lament about the children of today - how different they are, how protected... that even a cane mark could lead the parents to jail... and how all this are making the children of today simply spoilt and out of control. But one thing, they have completely forgotten is how different the society of today is and what the world is today is worlds apart from the world of yesterday. The media, internet, technology all makes the world and therefore the children highly different. It is too simplistic to say that cos the canes are no longer used that the children are becoming uncontrollable ... there is a whole lot of other confounds to the issue. I would say instead that because the world today is so different that new differnt methods of child maangement has to be employed cos the children are different and not the lack of caning that are making the children different.
The difficulty though is that many of the adults my age now had gone thru a childhood where they were caned and where they had not known any other methods of parenting... and they saw this as not having caused any harm to them ... therefore questions the necessity for change... forgetting instead that since the world has changed, the children have changed and therefore the methods must change.
It was with Tasnym that I truly realise how ineffective these methods were as she would just model us and turn around to flick us back after she is done crying and wailing. And we got worried that she would start hitting others in the same way. So time out is the way to go and it has been very effective. Definitely no canes for us!!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Funneee Conversations
Conversation 1
Papa: Sarah, first you must go kindergarten, then you go Primary School. After that you go to Secondary school, and then JC/Polytechnic and after that you go to the University.
Sarah : Papa, I dun want to go to so many schools, wait I'll be tired. (ha ha)
Conversation 2
Tasnym : Mama, Sarah must go time out, you carry the legs I carry her hands!!!
Papa: Sarah, first you must go kindergarten, then you go Primary School. After that you go to Secondary school, and then JC/Polytechnic and after that you go to the University.
Sarah : Papa, I dun want to go to so many schools, wait I'll be tired. (ha ha)
Conversation 2
Tasnym : Mama, Sarah must go time out, you carry the legs I carry her hands!!!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Preparations for Hari Raya
Trotted over to the Kakak's house in front wanting to send over the cloth to make into an outfit for Hari Raya... Unfortunately, she had closed shop and was not willing to take in any more orders for Hari Raya... sigh... i had waited too long and now I've got nothing to wear this Hari Raya! I waited cos I didn't want the outfit to be made too soon, in case it would not fit around the tummy... Oh well... We'll probably have to go search for something in Angsana at JB where we normally buy our clothes.
Got some punjabi suits for both girls from India (via a colleague) and they looked soooo cute!! I somehow think that mine is not really gonna be able to fit me... around the tummy.
This year, I've decided to be a bit more ambitious and make some kuih... more than the usual I made previous years. Macaroons, choc chip cookies, kuih siput, epok-epok pengantin, honey cornflakes, choc cornflakes... hee hee.. I've gotten all the recipes ready and engaged help from some cousins to join forces... my friends are already laughing at my over-ambitiousness... taste it first then you will know hah!
Anyways, I am fasting to the puzzlement of my Chinese colleagues who would interview me long and hard why I was doing so considering that I am pregnant. Well, I am healthy and so is the baby.. alhamdullilah... and the doc gave the green go ahead so here I am on the 5th day (wow, its almost a week already..) fasting away. Not too bad though there have been some grumblings in the tummy occasionally... and funny thing is I don't eat much during buka... So I am sure I'll lose some of that weight I gained the last month alone... told the doc I was storing away in time for Ramadan.. ha ha
The waking ups in the middle of the night, however, is taking its toll... to pee, carry Tasnym, sahur... I've got dark circles under my eyes and it dun look good... definitely not matching the red puffy swollen lips... sigh I dun look good... I had to take some photos to renew my passport and I look so bloated!
Got some punjabi suits for both girls from India (via a colleague) and they looked soooo cute!! I somehow think that mine is not really gonna be able to fit me... around the tummy.
This year, I've decided to be a bit more ambitious and make some kuih... more than the usual I made previous years. Macaroons, choc chip cookies, kuih siput, epok-epok pengantin, honey cornflakes, choc cornflakes... hee hee.. I've gotten all the recipes ready and engaged help from some cousins to join forces... my friends are already laughing at my over-ambitiousness... taste it first then you will know hah!
Anyways, I am fasting to the puzzlement of my Chinese colleagues who would interview me long and hard why I was doing so considering that I am pregnant. Well, I am healthy and so is the baby.. alhamdullilah... and the doc gave the green go ahead so here I am on the 5th day (wow, its almost a week already..) fasting away. Not too bad though there have been some grumblings in the tummy occasionally... and funny thing is I don't eat much during buka... So I am sure I'll lose some of that weight I gained the last month alone... told the doc I was storing away in time for Ramadan.. ha ha
The waking ups in the middle of the night, however, is taking its toll... to pee, carry Tasnym, sahur... I've got dark circles under my eyes and it dun look good... definitely not matching the red puffy swollen lips... sigh I dun look good... I had to take some photos to renew my passport and I look so bloated!
Happy Birthday Sarah!
It was Sarah's 4rth birthday and she was so excited shouting about it being her birthday early in the morning. As it was the fasting month, we had a jamuan berbuka puasa cum birthday party for her.
She made some resolutions on not sucking her thumb, sleeping in her own bed and not wearing pampers to sleep when she reaches 4 years old but by the time the day comes all these resolutions has been pushed to her 6th birthday!!
She made some resolutions on not sucking her thumb, sleeping in her own bed and not wearing pampers to sleep when she reaches 4 years old but by the time the day comes all these resolutions has been pushed to her 6th birthday!!
Just cos Uncle Hisyam had gotten her to help bake some brownies the day before, she insisted that she should be baking her own b'day cake, complete with a princess picture on top... she even threw a fit when she found out that I had bought a cake!! So off we went to the supermarket to buy a box of ready brownie mix - sorry but mama's culinary skills is not that fantastic... and got home in time for her to bake her cake... after dropping one egg on the floor and stirring the mixture about 5 rounds in total... ie mama had to do the rest of the work. When the cake was finally ready, she declared that it tasted bad, spitted it out and even wiped her tounge on the back of her hand... Please lah it was not a bad cake at all and actually tasted quite good...
A conversation she had with me yesterday:
Sarah: Mama, where is Tasnym (when she saw that Tasnym was not at home)? Is she lost? If she is lost, then how, I won't have a sister anymore... Nevermind lah... then I can get a brother!
Hmmm... well sorry Sarah... you are going to get another sister as the doctor had confirmed that last week : )
Saturday, September 01, 2007
My mouth is stinging...
Really am not sure whether it is related to the pregnancy as it first started in Mar 07 but I've been having an allergic reaction around my lips. It started off being very itchy and the skin becomes dry... now it has worsened with a bad stinging sensation ... I dunno which is worse, the stinging sensation or the itch...
Some days, my lips could compete against Eddie Murphy's.. as it swells up
Creams did not work and now, I'm applying steroids at a doctor's prescription... the swelling has gone down considerably... but the itch and sometimes the sting is still there...
Doc says that it is an allergy but the problem is that I have no idea what I am allergic too...
Some days, my lips could compete against Eddie Murphy's.. as it swells up
Creams did not work and now, I'm applying steroids at a doctor's prescription... the swelling has gone down considerably... but the itch and sometimes the sting is still there...
Doc says that it is an allergy but the problem is that I have no idea what I am allergic too...
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