I think it is the nightmare of any mother if her daughter one day comes up to her and say that her father had sexually abused her. And when confronted, the father denies vehemently that he would do such a deed. Who would the mother believe, her daughter or her husband? A dilemma that can be further compunded if the father is an upright citizen, religious even? And a daughter who may not be the best of angels.
I remembered having this theoretical conversation witha group of friends - all single and childless then... The question continues to play now with us having husbands and children. Our profession certainly does not help as we face many mother with such a situation. We can understand their dilemma, empathise even.
Fact is though many disclosures are accidental and many girls... or boys for that matter... had never intended to disclose that they had been sexually abused. No matter how non-angelic the girl may be, it is few and far in between that the girl had lied about such abuse. So as much as it may be hard to swallow, chances are it is the girl who is the innocent and the man who is the monster.
Yet, it is easy to understand the dilemmas these mothers face. Uneducated and dependent on the men, they sometimes opt to believe the men instead. Could it be that these mothers find it more difficult to believe in the words of the child? Sad thing is the daughters end up shunned, many dealing with the trauma they encountered alone.
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