I was feeling so down last weekend as I went in search for the perfect shoes for my not so perfect, extremely big feet... For those who don't already know, I have big feet... I used o be at size 8 and I have always assured myself that at my full-grown adult age, it would not grow anymore...
To my horror, it DID!! when I got pregnant.. some assured me that the size would go down again after I give birth... NO IT DID NOT!! It remained the same... after the pregancy with Sarah, it went up to size 9 and after the pregancy with Tasnym, it went up to 10. How do I deal with going up to 11 after my present pregnancy?? It was already hard enough to find shoes in size 9 or 10, what about 11? Thoughts of binding my feet have crossed my mind.... MANY TIMES!!
Shopping for shoes used to be a pet activity.. I have now stopped even bothering to enter into a shoe shop unless I had known already that they carried large sizes. I could not take the condescending or shocked looks or the sales staff when I asked them for the large sizes, they will then look at my feet, to stare at the montrosity and ask, your feet so big ah? One sales person I met recently started taking out shoes in size 10 as his shop had large sizes without asking me my style of preference. When I told him, I didn't like the designs he took out, he said "Well if you don't like the designs then defficult lah..." Uh you mean just because I have big feet, I have to settle for ugly shoes?
Last weekend, one salesman said in shock "Hah? Size 10? No we dun have," alamak even the other people in the shop heard and looked! Hmm... excuse me, Ian Thorpe has large feet and he has attributed his illustrious swimming career to his feet while you are just a small time sales person in a tiny unknown shoe shop!!
Don't they realise how terrible I was already feeling going from shop to shop to be met with disappointment or when I tried on shoe after shoe, not even being able to squeeze my foot halfway into the shoe. I kept being reminded of how Cinderella' stepsister tried to squeeze her feet into the glass slipper... sob... I am not mean like that stepsister you know...
When I was younger, relatives were very mean and often made fun of my feet. I remembered how my parents would talk negatively about it and how difficult it was to find shoes for me. I remembered distinctly how cousins would make fun and said that I would end up looking like Ronald MacDonalds with my huge feet sticking out or how my grandmother said how my shoes can be turned into a sampan!
Even I am amazed at how resilient I had been to deal with all these and my response was "I am grateful that I have feet as compared to those who does not" I still feel that way... and it has taught me not to make fun of those who have imperfections. But please feet, dun grow to size 11... I'll have to walk barefoot if you do!
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