Well we are now again maidless... for the next few weeks at least after having sent the last maid back to the agent at her insistence. She was down to even getting her husband to call us telling us that her mother AND mother in law are sick as a means of getting her way home.
So back to an unconducive home envt we are going to have till the new one arrives!
And yes brats... I had a disturbing encounter with one of my hubby's nephew last weekend... a boy of only 5 years... he was playing at the slides, hanging around on the slide rather than going straight down when another boy and my daughter came sliding down... the inevitable happened and he got pushed down as well.. the thing that shocked me was him shouting at me "You stupid mother, you can see I am on the slide and yet you asked them to come down!" That really stunned me for a moment to be coming out from a 5 year old... honestly I dun remember having encountered such a thing before and this from someone who has encountered many children from various dysfunctional backgrounds.
I wondered where he had learnt or seen such a behavior for children act what they see... I can only imagine him having seen some adults in his life behaving that way... children do what they see... this was also the same boy who some months ago, snatched the newspapers away from me as I was reading ... not just once but several times despite me admonishing him each time... and I am not exactly someone whom he sees regularly for him to be behaving in such a boorish manner. Oh goodness... if he does not get some restructuring now, I wonder what other things I am going to encounter from him in years to come.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Oh when oh when..
The last two times, we visited the gynae, I told her clearly that should I not give birth in the Christmas week, I would like to be induced on the 31st Dec.. No way was I going to go into 2008 pregnant! But now... I am not so certain I would reach that date... there seem to be signs of impending labour...
I am in my 37th week... funny thing though this time, I have yet to experience any braxton hicks.. what I do have is low back ache, pain in the pelvis, frequent trips to the loo, not only to pee but to clear the bowels, an increase in discharge that I wonder whether I've lost my plug and a feeling... a definite instinct that baby is gonna be out soon..
the pain in the pelvis tho is getting more frequent and I'm wondering whether I'm already having contractions without realising as I deal with pain in my back and sides... Oh well.. baby just get out soon ok?
I do wonder how she will look... like Tasnym or Sarah... would she have Tasnym's cheeky smile or Sarah's sweet one... cheeky or not, just dun bring along the fiery personality!
I am in my 37th week... funny thing though this time, I have yet to experience any braxton hicks.. what I do have is low back ache, pain in the pelvis, frequent trips to the loo, not only to pee but to clear the bowels, an increase in discharge that I wonder whether I've lost my plug and a feeling... a definite instinct that baby is gonna be out soon..
the pain in the pelvis tho is getting more frequent and I'm wondering whether I'm already having contractions without realising as I deal with pain in my back and sides... Oh well.. baby just get out soon ok?
I do wonder how she will look... like Tasnym or Sarah... would she have Tasnym's cheeky smile or Sarah's sweet one... cheeky or not, just dun bring along the fiery personality!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Maid woes
Seems like it aint over yet... been noticing that my new maid's work seems a bit off the mark.. kitchen towel placed with the bath towels, my underwear placed with my hubby's... marks of a person who appeared to be lost in space or thought... my mum said that the maid had confided that she is very frightened of me... and wat is it that i have done to her to cause so much fear???!!
Today she shared the same with me when I asked her abt her work... said that the fear of me had been inculcated even at the time when she was at the training centre as she had been told that I was very fierce.. and she quoted incidences when i corrected her but the thing was that the corrections were done nicely and yet she still could not take it??? haizzz!
and she revealed that actually her hubby had not approved of her coming to work in Singapore and has demanded for her to return... Apparently his mum has sold of their house to fund him and his brothers to work in Malaysia... and the money would also be used to pay off her maid loan as well.. asked her whether he had approved when she went to the training centre and she said no... and she still proceeded??!!
the only saving grace is that she is willing to wait till i get a new maid before leaving.
to think that i thought that i had finally gotten a good maid... do they think that we are made of money to fund repeated changes in maids and having to go thru the training cycles over and over? I feel so cynical and jaded... wishing that i dun have to take a maid anymore but ... do i have much of a choice??
so back to the agency we go to choose yet another one... and hopefully the last one of the lot...
Today she shared the same with me when I asked her abt her work... said that the fear of me had been inculcated even at the time when she was at the training centre as she had been told that I was very fierce.. and she quoted incidences when i corrected her but the thing was that the corrections were done nicely and yet she still could not take it??? haizzz!
and she revealed that actually her hubby had not approved of her coming to work in Singapore and has demanded for her to return... Apparently his mum has sold of their house to fund him and his brothers to work in Malaysia... and the money would also be used to pay off her maid loan as well.. asked her whether he had approved when she went to the training centre and she said no... and she still proceeded??!!
the only saving grace is that she is willing to wait till i get a new maid before leaving.
to think that i thought that i had finally gotten a good maid... do they think that we are made of money to fund repeated changes in maids and having to go thru the training cycles over and over? I feel so cynical and jaded... wishing that i dun have to take a maid anymore but ... do i have much of a choice??
so back to the agency we go to choose yet another one... and hopefully the last one of the lot...
Saturday, December 01, 2007
At what price?
In Singapore we are lucky that going to work generally means us having to take some form of transport and making at most a one hour journey to the place of employment. For many others, esp in our neighbouring countries, this is not so... work may mean leaving behind your family, loved ones, children to travel far beyond just to earn a measly paycheck, live in a world that is worlds apart culturally from your own and possibly even be taken advantaged off, at worst be abused.
How many of us really stopped to think abt the plight of our fellow human friends who come from afar to work in Singapore, some under the same roof as us to earn a living... Its easy to complain abt them, the difficulties we face in managing them that sometimes we forget what they had to endure to be here... sometimes they too forget what made them come here in the first place causing them to behave in ways that may be incomprehensible to most of us.
My maid shared of how they are treated in the training centres before coming here to work.. they are made to eat cabbage soup with rice daily, scolded in front of others leaving very little dignity and basically not given much rights.. she shared of how their money is taken away from them... her husband tried to get it back but to no avail.. she shared of how the money I had given my ex-maid had already been taken away by the agency, possibly not to be returned... my heart ached at that... it was money that others gave her for Hari Raya and my hard earned money meant for her children... not for the agency! They are not allowed to practise their religion at the centres, prevented from praying ... why?
There had been other stories of other training centres treating maids brutally... how much is the MOM doing to curb such abuse and to ensure that the ladies who come here are protected? How much are these centres regulated to ensure that these women's rights are upheld? I have just heard of a case of some women who were brought in to work here only to be forced into prostitution...
At what price... to work here? They came for hope of a better life for their families... to be able to send back cash to fund education, medical needs or even simply a proper roof over their heads... at what price?
To think that these injustices may be perpetuated further in the homes they work in... some are lucky to get good employers who treats them well... others.... well...
Why take on a maid who is different from you religiously if you cannot accept the religious practices of that person? Why would you want to stop the maids from going to church, pray 5 times a day or fast? Shouldn't you appreciate it that they have a belief and faith in a higher being... to me it marks the character of a person, that they have beholden themselves to a higher being and therefore more cautious of committing sins... I am more cautious of people who have no faith in God.
Why would you want maids to be deprived of food? Isn't that a contradiction to the expectations you have of the maid in the first place... ie to work... and yet you deprive the maid of the things that enable them to do proper work? Is that income of $350 so much that you have to skimp on the food they eat?
To emotionally, psychologically and physically abuse them... why? Does that make you feel that you are a better person? I know that sometimes its hard to curb your anger especially when the maid behaves in ways that truly boils your blood... hey I've been there...and I know thats the reason why I had to also let my old maid go before she truly pushes me over the edge..
At what price... to work here? to earn a simple living ...
How many of us really stopped to think abt the plight of our fellow human friends who come from afar to work in Singapore, some under the same roof as us to earn a living... Its easy to complain abt them, the difficulties we face in managing them that sometimes we forget what they had to endure to be here... sometimes they too forget what made them come here in the first place causing them to behave in ways that may be incomprehensible to most of us.
My maid shared of how they are treated in the training centres before coming here to work.. they are made to eat cabbage soup with rice daily, scolded in front of others leaving very little dignity and basically not given much rights.. she shared of how their money is taken away from them... her husband tried to get it back but to no avail.. she shared of how the money I had given my ex-maid had already been taken away by the agency, possibly not to be returned... my heart ached at that... it was money that others gave her for Hari Raya and my hard earned money meant for her children... not for the agency! They are not allowed to practise their religion at the centres, prevented from praying ... why?
There had been other stories of other training centres treating maids brutally... how much is the MOM doing to curb such abuse and to ensure that the ladies who come here are protected? How much are these centres regulated to ensure that these women's rights are upheld? I have just heard of a case of some women who were brought in to work here only to be forced into prostitution...
At what price... to work here? They came for hope of a better life for their families... to be able to send back cash to fund education, medical needs or even simply a proper roof over their heads... at what price?
To think that these injustices may be perpetuated further in the homes they work in... some are lucky to get good employers who treats them well... others.... well...
Why take on a maid who is different from you religiously if you cannot accept the religious practices of that person? Why would you want to stop the maids from going to church, pray 5 times a day or fast? Shouldn't you appreciate it that they have a belief and faith in a higher being... to me it marks the character of a person, that they have beholden themselves to a higher being and therefore more cautious of committing sins... I am more cautious of people who have no faith in God.
Why would you want maids to be deprived of food? Isn't that a contradiction to the expectations you have of the maid in the first place... ie to work... and yet you deprive the maid of the things that enable them to do proper work? Is that income of $350 so much that you have to skimp on the food they eat?
To emotionally, psychologically and physically abuse them... why? Does that make you feel that you are a better person? I know that sometimes its hard to curb your anger especially when the maid behaves in ways that truly boils your blood... hey I've been there...and I know thats the reason why I had to also let my old maid go before she truly pushes me over the edge..
At what price... to work here? to earn a simple living ...
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