I have been scratching my head on how to manage Tasnym... even began to have doubts on how my parenting was as she tests every skill and knowledge in my books...
I think it really made me feel so much better after a conversation with my Australian consultant a week ago and felt so reassured when she shared similar experiences in managing her second son... she is the expert and if she had problems... what more me a mere mortal? Tantrums, strong personality, dealing with sibling rivalry... everything all in one package... And my conversation with others revealed that I definitely am not alone in facing these... but the coincidence is in it happening with the second child.
What is it about being the second child that we are seeing their behaviors to be so challenging... or is that a mere coincidence in the order of birth... I truly wonder.... Possibly they are trying to find their own niche after coming in second, making sure that they not lose out to all the privileges that the first born has gotten... possibly it is their way of ensuring that the first does not always remain first by virtue of birth but that they get first options too...
It definitely seems true for Tasnym... she always has to be in control, have her say in everything and be first always... even with Daniah, she insists on having her way...sometimes you just feel so sorry for Sarah as she keeps having to give in and you know that its not right that the situation is that way... but peace of mind (from having to deal with that deafening high screech) always wins when you are tired from work... rather than having to be a fair parent who maintains equality and justice...
I know one day Sarah is going to turn around and say that I am not being fair.. not that it has not happened already... but I do hope it would not impact on their relationship with each other as I have heard it happen to other sibling relationships...
I think it really made me feel so much better after a conversation with my Australian consultant a week ago and felt so reassured when she shared similar experiences in managing her second son... she is the expert and if she had problems... what more me a mere mortal? Tantrums, strong personality, dealing with sibling rivalry... everything all in one package... And my conversation with others revealed that I definitely am not alone in facing these... but the coincidence is in it happening with the second child.
What is it about being the second child that we are seeing their behaviors to be so challenging... or is that a mere coincidence in the order of birth... I truly wonder.... Possibly they are trying to find their own niche after coming in second, making sure that they not lose out to all the privileges that the first born has gotten... possibly it is their way of ensuring that the first does not always remain first by virtue of birth but that they get first options too...
It definitely seems true for Tasnym... she always has to be in control, have her say in everything and be first always... even with Daniah, she insists on having her way...sometimes you just feel so sorry for Sarah as she keeps having to give in and you know that its not right that the situation is that way... but peace of mind (from having to deal with that deafening high screech) always wins when you are tired from work... rather than having to be a fair parent who maintains equality and justice...
I know one day Sarah is going to turn around and say that I am not being fair.. not that it has not happened already... but I do hope it would not impact on their relationship with each other as I have heard it happen to other sibling relationships...
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