Maid to measure

I'm still considering whether to continue with my maid's service. Her contract ends in Jul of this year. Well not to say that she had been problematic or anything but the down sides of having a maid do add up after a while. I appreciate the work that she had put in. I know my house would not look the same without her... it would be more uncondusive for living!! She works hard... that's appreciated... but...

What's the downside?

Well firstly the issue of privacy... To have a non family member in the household, one who had been a complete stranger... yes after a while you do get to know them ... but she still remains a stranger in the home and somehow you never would be as comfortable in your home as when she is not around. Even to spend time as a couple becomes a bit awkward. You can't even wear what you like in your own home..

Next would be the issue of differences in culture, language and belief systems... I think it was as much a culture shock for her to be here as it is for us to have her. The differences in beliefs were apparent from the beginning. What she thought of common ailments - they were all caused by wind in the body! Her mentality about life... I had to do a bit of motivational speeches and counselling... my cousins joked that my maid would return to her homeland a changed woman!! The way she talks is different with same words carrying different meanings... many a times we realise we had completely missed what the other meant... and that is very frustrating... You also do not want her beliefs and ways to influence your children... I defeinitely do not want my children to grow up believing that they are sick cos wind got into them!! And I do see snippets of influence that has been passed on already especially in the way my girls talk!

And of course there is the issue of attachment. Maybe I am a jealous person by nature but it pains me when I see my girls hugging her instead of coming to me or when they chose her over me... not that it happens often but when it does... it sents a shaft thru my heart. I know its good that she is a good person to my children but I guess it is hard for a mother when her child chooses someone else over them esp if that person has only been in the family for a while. Parenting also becomes an issue esp when the maid causes your authority as a parent to be undermined... sometimes without meaning to... when she gives in to their tantrums or demands... when they go to her to veto my decisions... thankfully my maid has learnt a lesson on Mum's word is the word cos I've driven it enough into her.

Expectations... I am not fussy about the house but somehow you end up realising that there are things that you want done your way... for some reason or other... and she would have done it another way... How much can you really teach? Not possibly everything and some things you take for granted assuming that she should know... or maybe I am fussy...

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing the ugliest side of me when I handle her... not that I am abusive but when frustrations peaked and expectations are not met, coupled with other stressors, its easy to lose yourself and I hate that person I see.

Then of course there is her and her idiosyncracies that sometimes simply baffles me... the things she say or do ... I know I have been luckier than most that mine has turned out to be a relatively good maid but I suppose everyone has a streak of weirdness in them... I'm sure she thinks I'm weird too!!

So that's the downside... and the upside? Well a clean house - and I dun have high expectations there cos the house can never be neat with a hubby, 2 girls and 2 cats who are forever making a mess! And the fact that I do get to concentrate on my girls cos I dun have to worry about household at all. So I have to think about striking a balance of both if our current decision not to continue with a maid stands...

Oh well... tomorrow is another day...