Driving me CRAZY!!

Sarah has been driving me crazy with her inane excuses so that she does not have to clean up her toys. It can range from I'm sleepy, I'm itchy to the more absurd, "My hand too short and cannot reach!!" Excuse me, the piece of paper is on the floor and she is standing beside it!!

She goes into an emotional overdrive acting as if I had just abused her by asking her to clean up. She would want a hug, say she wants her father, ask me or her sister for help to clean - all these amidst loud wailing and non-stop tears flowing down her cheeks.

Goodness, it is more stressful to ask her to clean up than it is to just do it myself.

Times like this, I am craving for a maid...

We need to OPEN UP!!

I was chatting with a close friend yesterday and casually asked her how she had made Christianity her religion. She was not a born Christian and her answer got me thinking. She stated that it was her friends in Secondary school who had taught her about the religion and she was influenced to be part of that religion.

That response set me to asking how many of our Muslim convert friends had done so because they had been convinced of its beauty by other friends when they were teenagers. Many whom I know did so cos of marriage and a portion of that does not even really believe in the religion, half holding on to their own belief systems.

The other thing I was wondering is how many of our teenage friends were so strong in their beliefs in Islam that they wanted to spread the word and get others to see the beauty of the religion. Uhm.. I didn't know of any... not when I was in school. Well we were all practising Muslims but I supposed the spirit of wanting to share the religion with others was not there. At most, we would just correct misconceptions that our fellow classmates may have of Islam. Even the concept of halal and non-halal food can already create rifts between us and our non-Muslim friends. I remembered how at a class barbeque, the halal chicken was ostracised to the floor to be separated from the non-halal chicken as the non Muslim friends feared that we had prayed to the chicken!!

I think that the other problem was also the tendency for many of my Muslim schoolmates to stick to themselves. In my University days, I felt strongly the non-acceptance by my Muslim coursemates. I was not part of the tudung group and neither was I part of the wild-group. I was not wearing the tudung then and somehow those who do didn't seem to want to welcome me into the group and I was a fellow Muslim. If I who was a Muslim was already feeling so ostracised by this group, what more others who were non-Muslim? They somehow created an aura of untouchability around them and I knew many non-muslims viewed them with a certain wariness and had been asked many a times "Why do they dress like that?" and mind you sometimes it was not with a tone of curiosity. Their style of clothing also didn't help sometimes especially when they wore drab colours and walked with their head down, towards classes and out, mixing only with their own kind.

This stood out in stark contrast to Christian friends who somehow went around befriending others wanting to "spread the message of love" as they would put it, not that I liked it when they came on too strongly but it does allow for greater understanding by ithers on the religion.

I think all these somehow added up to Islam being viewed with a certain mysticism. People don't understand the religion cos the people practising it does not try to make sure that others understand it but instead create barriers from allowing others into their team. I do think we need to open up more. As much as we may not be out to convert others but to help others understand the religion much better and open up ourselves as religion for people to admire rather than loath and view with cynicism. This must all start from the schools level.

Snap Snap

I am sooo irritable that I am snapping at almost everybody, my officers included. They must be wondering what is wrong with me considering that I am usually very genial. Even the guy walking across the road got it.

Izad is definitely not spared with me nagging about everything under the sky. The unwashed milk bottles, the bottle covers on the dresser...

I think we have to get a maid again. I don't think I can cope with the current state of our home being the way it is. Maybe not so soon but later on when I am in my third trimester possibly.

I told Izad that this would be the last pregnancy. I know that I told him the same thing the last round but I think this time I'm certain. I don't think my body can put up with another pregnancy. I am really feeling the strains of this one.

Two lines in a Little Window

i peered at the little window and didn't have to wait at all as two lines appeared almost instantly. ok, that confirms what i suspected was true since the beginning of the month. i had mixed feelings. I was happy but it blended with anxiety - am i ready, would i be able to cope, would tasnym be able to accept it?



sarah was happy and has happily accepted that she was going to have a baby brother named rayyan, not that we know its a boy yet, he he... but this was a conversation i had with her out of the blue a few days back that kind of threw me off:

Sarah: Mama, baby Rayyan's house is out there (pointing out of the window)

Mama: Where?

Sarah: Out there, his house is far away (again pointing out of the window)

Mama: When is he coming?

Sarah: Not today but he is coming someday, another day. He is sleeping now cos its night time.

Mama: What does he look like?

Sarah: He's small.

the active imagination of a young child? i really dunno...

for now, i'm just battling nausea, vomitting and extreme fatigue, oh god counting down the days to when the first trimester is over and i can enjoy the pregnancy a bit more. how is it that others are so lucky not to have morning sickness and i end up having all day sickness!! and my back is aching already while no masseuse would touch me... how many more days till the end of the trimester?? sigh...

Bad Parkers

You know who they are, the ones who park so close to the line or ones who park slanted that you can hardly open your doors. Don't tell me the drivers absolutely had no idea that they had caused such an inconvenience to others.

Luckily I'm still slim enough though I have to, many a times, hold my tummy deeply in to enter into the car. Bt things get bad when the girls are with me. How do you even put a child into their car seat and buckle them in when you can only the door open by about an inch??? And its not like I can tell my daughters to wait a while as I drive forward first to give me more space, I can only hold my frustrations inside. There were so many times when I really felt like writing a note and placing it on their windshield telling them how inconsiderate they had been. But sigh I'm too lazy...or simply had no paper and pen ready (excuses I know)

The other grouse I have about parking is when I have to do it at the multi storey carpark and am with the 2 girls. Can you imagine me struggling with 2 girls plus the multitude of bags, trapsing down 3 levels of the multi-storey carpark? What luck if either girls are sleeping... luckily has yet to encounter when both goes to sleep... I'll probably just stay in the car and wait for hubby to come.

Previously, I just parked by the block and so receive parking summons for illegal parking. Wrote letter of appeal and demanded for a solution to the problem. Well, I got the summon waived but absolutely no response in terms of a solution, HDB probably don't know how to solve their lack of proper planning when they first came up with the idea of multi storey carparks. Some multi storey carparks go up very high and there is no lift. How does that deal with people who are elderly, feeling sick or carrying lots of children and groceries? I was thinking that perhaps one option is to provide allowance for some people to park at the handicapped parking especially if they are elderly but realised how this can be easily subjected to abuse.

Best solution? Fit all multi storey carparks with a lift and it can be hydraulic (if I'm using the right term) so that they use less electricity.