first foods

There is a first time for everything and this baby bird had her first try at cereal today. She is the only one who got to try an organic rice. Well she was not as enthusiastic as the rest was, partly cos she had to do the big motion mid way through. Never mind,  tomorrow we will try again!

Latest football fan

2 nights ago, we discovered that little Hana somehow is a little football fan. Wanting to soothe her as she was throwing a crying fit, her daddy placed her on his lap as he was watching the match between Singapore and Trengganu. Not only did she stop crying, but she started getting very excited and shouting at the tv!

Other sports channel did not get a similar response! So either she is the next Starhub Lions diehard fan or just excited seeing so many men running on the field!

Five Little Monkeys

It's interesting how even a baby as young as 4 months old can develop their preference for things. My baby has decided the pop song of the day for her is the " 5 little monkeys" song. Only one particular version - that of an upbeat tempo will do. All other jumping monkeys are not welcomed!

It is a preferred lullaby to sleep and will get her quiet even though she may be having a full fledged tantrum at the point.

Ready for Work?

I just realised that today would have been my first official day for work. Thank God for 28 annual leave days for I sure am not ready to go back. I cant remember how I had felt the last 3 times my maternity leave ended but I think it was much worse with Sarah where I had only 3 months leave compared to the 4 months now.  I felt so cheated I found out that 3 months meant exactly that 90 days, with the public holidays and weekends included, which translated to a much shorter leave.

The'thought of going back to work fills me with dread. No more days guided by the baby's daily routine and the older girls' various issues... although I would have to say the older girls' issues are something I could do without!

World's worst mums

Sarah shared with us on how she had missed the bus stop recently cos she had fallen asleep on the bus. This revelation led to a  full lecture of all the dangers should she fall asleep on the bus, on what she should do the next time the incident repeats and how to ensure she protects herself, plus ensuring it never happens again. Though I think she scared herself enough to have said that she had made sure she never sleeps again since the incident.

I ended up wondering whether we had done enough to prepare her before we had let her out into the big bad world. The only reason why she had to take the public bus was because she had enrichment classes that ended late and she would have missed the school bus. I took the time to pick her up from school one day and walked her through the paces in taking a bus, with one bus transfer. It was one lesson, packed with all the advices and admonitions I could think of. How to cross the road, how to press the bell to get the bus to stop and so on... I think somehow I had forgotten to say anything about not falling asleep on the bus...

I know many other parents would still not have let their Pri 5 child be on the bus alone just yet. One of my cousins would not allow her kids to take the lift by themselves in a public place, what more take the public bus. I felt that I do need to let the girls be more independent and felt that Sarah was ready to learn though I had to convince the dad that it would be ok. I had taken the bus when I was in Pri 5 too and on a much longer journey. I felt Sarah was ready. Tasnym is definitely not considering how she treats the bus like a playground when she goes on it! Thinking about that, it does say a lot about how such privileges like having a car makes the kids super suaku when it comes to normal everyday experiences like taking the bus or the train!

I think that somehow allowing Sarah to learn how to take the bus allowed her lessons beyond any lextures I could give. Me lecturing her on the dangers of falling asleep on the bus would have been less effective compared to her experiencing that on her own. She needs to learn from her own experiences and mistakes although of course, I would not want the experiences to be anything too adverse.

It  reminds me of a show I watched on the home and health channel called the World's worst mums about mothers who are too overprotective over their kids, and I am talking about being super over protective. These are mums who would not even allow their children to cut up their own food and treats  them like babies. In the show, the mums were taught how to let go as their overprotectiveness inhibited their children's development.  I do agree it does, and do feel that when we are overprotective and hinder the child's experiences, it inhibits their real learning on how to keep themselves safe as we are always there to do it for them.

Too Many?

Our weekends, and definitely our weekdays are filled to the brim! With netball practice, tution classes, religious classes, swimming and piano lessons, some have said that my girls have too many activities.

Our Netball Shooter

There was a recent article in the press where a parent complained about the amount of time that her child is spending in CCAs and asking for a review of this. My thoughts are that it should not be the no of hours on CCA that should be reviewed but the no of hours on curriculum and homework to make it more balanced.  Sarah does complain that she has no time to finish her homework as she finishes late after netball practice.  Thing is, I do feel that CCAs help to develop character while I am sitting here trying to figure out what exactly homework hopes to achieve. If it was supposed to help better understanding, shouldnt that be happening through good teaching. If for practice what was learnt, why cant it happen in school?

None of the activities are anything that the girls were forced into. When we got feedback that Tasnym did not have the interest nor the inclination for piano playing, we stopped her lessons, although I would say 3 years of fees too late.  I couldnt believe how someone who had been attending lessons for 3 years still could not recognise the notes which truly showed her lack of interest in the art. Though I would have to say I wasnt too pleased with the music school for not having given me feedback much earlier.  I have to admit I had been lazy too in not having asked her to practise or in checking on her progress. 

Both of the older girls are very into netball with Sarah's incination towards being a shooter and Tasnym as a centre. Daniah, however, has completely opted out quoting the sun and the heat as her reasons against it! She has seriously been hard to please. Bugging me for months to attend ballet class, only to back out 5 minutes into the start of the trial class. Bugging me again to go for rollerblading class, only to fail her first safety class for refusing to learn how to fall down! Luckily she has kept to her piano lessons though there had been moments when she showed signs of wanting to quit too...

Why do I do this? Well it is more to expose the girls to various experiences. Some may think that I am stressing out my kids but the thing is, none of those classes has an exam component to it. The idea is for them to learn a craft and to have fun doing it. So the piano lessons are meant to teach them to play without any exams. We have also exposed them to snorkeling and wall climbing as longas its within our financial capacity. Next up, flying lessons anyone?

No 4 hits the spot?

After having no 4, people have been asking on how I cope? Who says I was coping in the first place? But seriously, adding the numbers does not necessarily adds up the stress. I mean look at the Duggars, having 19 children and counting. I do think they are crazy to have so many children but watching them it kinds of give you a clue on how they manage and how our grandparents from yesteryears manage their brood of kids.

There was an article I read recently that said no 4 was the magic number where parents somehow are coping better.  Seems paradoxical but the secret lies in simply relaxing and letting it go. Somehow with 4 kids, you have kind of learnt the little tricks and is less stressed on the trivial stuff... (hmmm I better come back to this page to remind myself of this whenever things get rough!) When I first had Sarah, the complete inexperience was a stressor in itself. By the time I get to Hana, I have learnt how to make things easier for myself, eg feeding on the move and eating with one hand while carrying the baby in the other. You also learn not to worry or jump too fast on the small things... so her poop is green, just monitor it for a while more. So she is not wearing a matching pair of socks, life moves on (though now I would say that its the bibik who is making sure Hana is togged out in colours that match!!)

I  am in my baby blues today with a matching bib and why not, the bedsheet too!

Having a little age difference between the girls has also enabled little minions to be on hand to run mini errands ranging from fetching mama a drink to getting the clean diaper for the baby. What are elder kids for if not to help out right? something you wont have with the first child or even the second.

I think the only thing that has really stressed me out with baby no 4 is the realisation that somehow I am one of those in the 1% of women worldwide who cannot produce enough breastmilk. Quite heartbreaking for me as it really hit me this round. With the previous babies, I had dismissed it more to the temperament of the babies or inexperience. Somehow this round, with Hana refusing to breastfeed, the truth really hit me. 

One things it did was to make me question the meaning I had of myself as a woman and a mother and feeling a sense of failure - that I am failing to fulfill my roles for my child. I have somewhat reconciled with that feeling. Amazingly, Facebook was the one that helped me or should I say support groups that I have found on FB for women having the same problem as me. I have to say though, it really irks me to read the queries posed by some of the other women and how it was so easy for them to talk about dumping the milk they have pumped just cos they have drunk some soft drinks! Seriously?? I treasure every single drop of milk I can get cos for me they are truly liquid gold, all 10 ml that I could get at each pump!

And no 4 is here!

Gosh, I know, the length between my blogs are long but it is testimony as to how busy I am! It's funny reading the last few posts and reading about my deliberations in having another baby... Cos well, no 4 is here. Born on 23 Dec 2013, she is the latest addition and true to what I said before, there is never any guarantee no 4 was gonna be a boy. Yup, it's a girl!

When we first announced the pregnancy to the girls, Sarah's reaction was "isn't tasnym and Daniah enough?" This after her excited reaction the year before in wanting to adopt! Well, it may have been a bad day with the younger sisters simply driving her nuts!

Fortunately, when the baby finally arrived, she was well received and there have not been any jealous fits to deal with. What we do have to deal with was the fights over who does get to carry the latest addition - Hana.

The older girls have been gems, helping out in the care sometimes to the worry of those adults around, fearing the worse as the baby is jostled and bounced around, not too gently!

Well, it is back to waking up for night feeds but it has not been too bad. I would have to say that Hana has even brought the family closer than before.

Hey, she's 5!

She has been protesting strongly insisting that she is still 4 whenever anyone has the audacity to say that she is 5 this year.  Well, she is the year end baby and probably wanting to remain a baby in every way, if she has her way.  Sometimes she does baby talk which infuriates us or would just prefer to shout and scream which also infuriates us - a lot!

Seems like the problem is getting worse lately.  She practically shouting most of the time.  I am not sure what to do really to deal with this. We have tried ignoring whenever she asks for something by shouting, which works for the time but she will revert to shouting again when the need arises.  She, of course, shouts whenever she wants to get her way with her sisters.  I have tried time out but she will probably be going into time out numerous times in the day the way she goes.  And I doubt my mum would bother to continue on with it.

The other thing I worry about her is that she has yet to read on her own.  She can read small words but nothing beyond 4 words or those that somehow does not follow the phonetics rules.  I know she will catch up soon enough.  She does show herself to be incredibly smart other times, clearly outshining her sisters when it came to thinking on her feet and coming back with smart ass responses!!

I cant believe my baby has turned 5, oh gosh!

My cuzzie came down from Australia with his 2 sons and we had a blast with 4 families enjoying our time at the theme parks in JB. It brought back memories of how we were when we were growing up, going out for excursions together. The cousins really enjoyed ourselves and we were close because we grew up and played together.  I really want that for my kids too.  I know they cant get cousins from my being an only child but I was hoping that my brothers in law would start having kids too, soon enough. But watching my kids have fun with my cousins' kids allows me to hope that they too would benefit from the strong family ties that they can turn to in times of need.

Looking at the photos remind me of the photos we cousins used to take, all in a line from the shortest to the tallest, maybe we should ask our kids to do the same!!

I read about the shooting in the US that killed dozens of small kids aged 6-7 years old and how a mother grieved for the loss of her child and I can only cry as I feel her pain.  As a fellow mum, I can empathise with what she feels though I may not have lost a child or ever want to experience such a loss.    I have always felt that when a person dies, the greatest pain is felt by those left behind, especially in such senseless killing when you have to grapple not only with the loss but the meaning behind it all.

Watching my children play, I can only pray that they be protected from harm and that God will grant them a long life, allowing for them to experience happiness and joy in seeing their dreams come true.

Happy Birthday Daniah and here's praying that God will give you many more years to come.

Maybe Baby?

People around are always quick to ask whether we would go for the 4th child after knowing that we have 3 girls.  What, is there a sure-fire guarantee that just because we have 3 girls, we would end up with a boy?  Anyway, did anyone say that we actually wanted a boy?

My feelings are ambivalent really.  I really love babies and part of me do want one... nothing to do with wanting a boy... I even have pros and cons about either gender. I was telling the hubby the other day that I wanted a baby cos Daniah is no longer a baby and he was asking whether I would then want yet another one once the new baby is no longer a baby? Hmmm... Funny thing was that I was at a family event the other day and was watching a group of boys boisterously wrestle around and generally running amok.  I went hoem that day and told him, ok I change my mind... but it can be a girl... and then I get the girls shouting and screaming and quarreling with one another... ok, not really helping in convincing anyone about having another child around the house.

We put the question to the girls and Sarah's immediate reaction was "Are we going to adopt? When? I want!"  Where did she even learn about the notion of adoption? My friends think that some little ears have been eavesdropping on my work conversations!
Tasnym's reaction was "I want, I want, when can we get?"
Hey you think what ah? Buy from a shop is it?

Daniah's was the easiest.  A simple "No"
I mean, come on, why would the one who is getting so much attention now want something that would be a competitor right?

So, I really don't know... Some parts of me is scared of having to go through that whole pregnancy bit again, the morning sickness etc and I am not exactly a spring chicken.  And the biggest question of all is can we actually cope.  Someone told me that the size of the car is the best family size determinant.  I mean if you have a 5 seater, you can only have 2-3 children (with car seats) or they can't all fit into the car.  If you have a 7 seater, then you can have 4 children with the maid but no boot space... hmmm...I wonder how my Malaysian cousins with their 7 kids (and more) pack in all the kids during their long drives around?

To have to go through all that night feedings is yet another deterrent... but but... babies they are just so cute!

Kid Peeves

OK we all love our kids, or should I say most of us do... some of us are indifferent to our kids and I know a small minority who actually hate their kids.  Same way that we love our husbands, there are just some things they do that simply riles us up.

With my kids, some of the things they do simply drive me up the wall.  Take Daniah, who talks at top decibels all the way, its amazing I have not lost my eardrums or two... or should I say maybe I already have.  I seem to be suffering from hearing difficulties these days. Not surprising considering how loud shouts and screams can be in confined places like the car. I seriously do not look forward to the drive home from my mum's home daily, as not only do I get one loud screaming voice, I get 3! It's like a conspiracy to see who can drive Mama up the car wall or a conspiracy against each other to make sure NOBODY gets air time! It's mad, everyone will be quiet until one soul decides to open her mouth, the other 2 will quickly interrupt with some story of their own.

Dun let that face fool you! It carries loud decibels!

With Sarah, her thumb sucking is something that once used to be so cute, but now at 9 years old, just looks simply off! We have tried everything, the nail stop etc but nothing worked as she continued to such her thumb. I seriously wonder when she would stop.  I couldnt believe it when one of my former helpers shared that her daughter was still sucking her thumb at the age of 15 years! Ooookay... 

Interestingly, Sarah shared that her close friends is aware of her thumb sucking habit and that they too have shared about how they too are still sucking their thumbs or drinking milk from a milk bottle. Hmm, nice to know Sarah...

As for Tasnym, its her tendency to cry at the drop of a hat. I mean life is a huge crisis to this girl.  She reacts first, only to quickly turn off the tap when she realises that what she initially thought was not true.   But amazing is her ability to turn the tear tap on and off. She is really true to her name of being a fountain... though I am not too sure about it being in heaven..

Got kissed by the chicken?

Tasnym is down with chicken pox.  I was quite suspicious when I first saw the marks on her body but quickly dismissed my initial thoughts as she was immunised against it and she did not have any marks on her tummy/chest. No fever too.

We spent the day in USS and there we met my cousin who quickly said that it appeared to be chicken pox. A quick check down her t-shirt showed one red spot on her chest. So off to the doctor we went after contaminating USS, and he confirmed the diagnosis.  He said that it was mild as she was immunised but caught it as she did not get a booster.  Thing is I do not recall him telling me of the need for any boosters.  So possibility of Daniah and Sarah getting it is there too since they too were immunised but no boosters.  I too have no way of separating them. Anyway, its too late!

This is the same girl who would refuse to take any kind of medication. And she refused to have the cream applied beyond that one time cos it was itching too much.  Miracle cream though it was as the marks dried up so fast and stopped itching.  I can still remember my time suffering from chicken pox with calamine lotion all over but offering scant relief.  My mum then found this leaf, which I have no memory of what its called, that was pounded and made into a paste to be applied to all the marks.  I am still left with one massive crater on the tip of my nose from the pox. And the agony of having to stay home for two whole weeks! This girl will probably just stay home for a week at most.

The girls have been asking why it is called chicken pox. I have no clue! The papa told her its cos she got kissed by a chicken in the night, ha ha!

So how did chicken pox get its name? And isnt it interesting that despite years and years of being around, no cure has been found.  The medication you get alleviates the symptoms but does not rid the person of the virus, same as HFMD.  I think the scientists are spending too much time on cancer and the big diseases that not many wants to spend time on these other 'lighter diseases'. Its supposed to be contagious a day or two before you see the spots and remains contagious until the scabs form.

To think of it though, many of western medicine serve to just alleviate symptoms and not deal with the virus itself...

Memories

Was rifling through old photos and really found some gem that I have completely forgotten abt! Only thing is these days rifling through old photos means looking at soft copies on the computer and not in the album.

I was the dedicated mum before making sure I printed every photo and mark them out etc but by the time the third one came along, I am not sure I even completed her first album. The 2 older ones even have a first year video montage, uhm with Tasnym's just ha;f done actually. But today I completed Daniah's... well it helps to have a good software, was kind of scratching my head trying to figure out how to use iMovie but got it done anyhow.  Just waiting for it to get published.

Found this very old photo of the girls first meeting with Daniah and how they were fighting with each other to carry Daniah! The doctor set was a new toy that had been given to Tasnym by my friend, who is also her godma, Bee. Gosh, to see how much the girls have grown since then and Daniah is turning 5 in 3 weeks!

 It's the school holidays and not quite knowing what to do with the girls.  At least they are old enough to entertain themselves with Sarah at the piano and Tasnym the addict, playing some game or other on my iPad. Her iPod and her laptop have both been confiscated cos of her tendency to just play non-stop!  Was thinking of bringing the girls to the park but the rain spoils a lot of plans. Perhaps we can go to the new Sentosa Marine Park tomorrow... maybe...

It's been a long time

Seriously been long... 2 years plus... since I wrote anything here.  Just felt the pull to go in and read my blog and I felt that I should really continue this as it really helped me recall all those times as the girls were growing up. Videos and photos can only tell so much but not the feelings and thoughts that were going on within. Was kind of laughing at some of the things I was writing, things that I had completely forgotten abt Sarah, Tasnym and Daniah.

All these last few months, we had been lamenting on how we were struggling in managing Daniah, only for me to read on how we struggled with Tasnym those years. OK, now Daniah dont seem so bad! Ha ha!  We know she was a very chatty baby, and remains a very chatty 4 years old.

Daniah's main problem is her need to shout at the top of her voice.  There are some babies of the family who are quiet as they get drowned out by their elder siblings.  This baby of mine, makes herself louder to assert herself and ensure that she never gets drowned out!!  Drives home from work is not fun considering how I have to battle traffic and 3 loud voices from the back seat.  Loud singing and boisterous laughter is one thing.  Loud shouts and quarrels is another.  Oooh my eardrums!!

 4 years ago

1 year ago... let me root around for a recent one

Sarah is going to P4. She got a certificate for being in the top 25% of her school for her level, though I would not say the results is fantastic, I know she can do better in Maths.  But for the other subjects, she really has done really well.  Tasnym too has done well in her P1 exams.  She is the best behaved in school which makes us wonder what is it that the teacher has done, where we as parents have seriously failed??!!

No Way!

Wow, its been some time since I wrote. And the girls are really growing up fast. I feel like the days are just whizzing past me and can't even seem to catch hold of where the days have gone. Sometimes I wish that I could just make time stop for a moment to truly enjoy what is going on. Work really does not help with so much to do, time seems to just whizz past even faster.

I took some books on making jewellery from the library a few days back and gaze in envy at the beautiful creations. The interest is there and I know I can make them but I really do not have the time. It is only recently that I manage to restart my love to read... even then its after telling the girls to give me a few minutes either before or after I read to them at bedtime.

Daniah is really growing up so fast... favourite phase now? Oh Man! and No way! all from Dora Baby Gaga, her favourite show... funny thing is she still looks very much like a baby to us... to think that Sarah and Tasnym were big sisters at her age. She still looks too small and too much of a baby to ever be more than the small sister.

But don't undermine her, small she may be but she has a fiery personality... like the saying kecil kecil cili padi! This chilli padi is not afraid to assert her rights and pull her small weight around. Also a true parrot, who absorbs everything Tasnym does and then copy! Both are partners in crime but when they fight... oh man!

Phone Parenting?

I guess as any working parent, I am guilty of phone parenting... when you call your kids from work to check on them, make sure they are doing what you want them to do and even scold! How effective is this really? I mean how much would the child actually do what we asked knowing that we are some distance away and not in the vicinity to catch them not doing what we want...

With Sarah in Primary 1, I am calling to ask her to do some pieces of work, check whether she is ready for school etc etc... and already she has lost 4 different items in school, from her wallet to her colour pencils to her water bottle.... the list goes on! She is so careless!

As it is, I am also having one or the other calling me to complain abt each other! And they even quarrel on the phone, each one shouting at the other over 2 telephones! sigh... Funny thing is that even Daniah is doing this complaining abt some fictional things that Sarah had done to her! Whenever she wants something, she will just say "Sarah take mine!" That one is becoming a complete Tasnym clone!

Primary One!

And its official! My first baby is in Primary 1. What a trooper as she walks up the bus and into the school without worry... except for the mummy shedding a tear by the side!

And off she goes in the bus with us following in the car behind... yeah fine we have joined the realms of kiasu parents.... but better than being accused of being neglectful right?

Off the bus and into the school... I am not the only parent taking photos and videos ok!

And to the canteen with her Primary 2 buddy... I was surprised to see how the canteen was condoned off to parents and the parents having to see their kids from afar... better than completely being barred entry into the school I guess... I can fully understand why too, what with the parents and grandparents hogging tables, the kids won't even have a place to sit!! Sarah could not even be bothered with her parents, preferring to sit and eat, only coming over when we kept asking her too... the Primary 2 buddy was all vigilant, running after Sarah and getting her to go back to their tables quickly!

Gone are the days when our mums used to peep from the classroom windows and were on hand at every recess! My mum was all anxious asking me why I was not staying in school with Sarah... not that Sarah even needed it!

Funny thing was that Tasnym was the one who missed Sarah the most, calling me multiple times to ask when Sarah was coming home! And what a joyous moment it was when both younger sisters went down to pick Sarah from the school bus! ha ha! Hopefully, this would make Tasnym stop fighting with Sarah so much! As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder....

A new year.... 2010

Ok... I have been lazy and have not been blogging but I am just superbly whacked out... And actually... also a bit lazy lah!

Oh my gosh, all this for me??

The look of joy having a full bowl of ice cream placed in front of her- simply priceless!

New year and new beginnings... and Daniah just turned 2... on 27 Dec... we went to the zoo in the morning and to Swensens... the look of delight on her face as the firehouse ice cream was placed in front of her, it was like "Am I dreaming? A whole ice cream for me?"... that was simply priceless!

I don't have new year resolutions... don't see any meaning to it.. why must I wait for a new year to have a resolution?

But I am freaking out over Sarah going into Primary 1 though she is pretty calm and nonchalant about it... Would she know where to go after the bus drops her off? Would the teachers be there to receive her? Would she make friends? Would anyone not be nice? Sigh... and how is she gonna cope with the bag? It is so heavy!

Tasnym has been prepared that she is going to Hanis on her own but I doubt it has truly sunk in... esp when she realises come 4 Jan that Aryan is not gonna be there too as he has been transferred to a child care centre.

And Daniah? I think I will wait for her to be a bit older before I send her to Hanis too...

Dead exhausted

She was so dead exhausted from all the shopping that she fell asleep slumped over the side sofa! The amazing amount of things to buy, this is truly a shopping paradise.... and at such super cheap prices too! I can see where Mini Toons got some of their stuff....

The stuff here are so cheap! And seems like, people are really into bling with shops at MBK sticking on gems unto phone and NDS covers making it bling bling! Some are a bit the ohbiang la but some pretty nice ones. Check out some that we bought! Cool huh?

Sawadeeka!

This is what my home should look like.... either that or I should make sure I always travel in style... no more cheap hotels... yeah like real...

Daniah checking out her new home...

anywayz, the family is in BKK this weekend and staying at the Ascott. This is luxury living!

The girls got so excited to have their own room complete with a bathroom and tv!

It comes complete with a utilities area for washing clothes and kitchenette. The toiletries are all locitanne! And the best thing yet is all this is free... courtesy of hubby's company.... jealous right?